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Wales and Northern Ireland have been making plans to nip out tonight and not come back, according to Not London News.

With the shouting match between Scotland and London likely to reach a crescendo as Scots went to the polls, other parts of the UK were planning to get away from it all. Forever.

Northern Ireland said, “And I thought I was the argumentative one. Jeez, these last few weeks have given me a proper headache. I’m packing my bags and leaving. We’re going to tell Scotland and London that we’re popping out to the shop for some milk, but the reality is the car is packed and we’ll be on the ferry to France before they start wondering where we are”

Wales said it was still trying to work out how to whisk Cornwall and the North of England away without London noticing.

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Vox Political feels safe in revealing this as, by now, we’ll have left already. See you on the other side, Scotland!

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