Noxious: Former US President George Bush (Sr) falls foul of an early version of SpeechLock at a diplomatic dinner in Japan. Or was it the sushi?

Noxious: Former US President George Bush (Sr) falls foul of an early version of SpeechLock at a diplomatic dinner in Japan. Or was it the sushi?

A device has been developed to ensure that politicians stay honest – by hitting them in the face with a noxious spray that makes them vomit if they lie.

SpeechLock is a collar that fits around your MP’s neck. Using common lie detector technology it measures your representative’s heart rate and, if it begins to race as he or she prepares to tell a lie, administers the punishing potion.

The gadget is an offshoot of the bicycle anti-theft device SkunkLock, as described in the article below. Designers decided that detonating MPs’ genitals was not currently an option, but this may change if Theresa May goes ahead with her plan to repeal the Human Rights Act.

MPs are being fitted with SpeechLock on a rolling programme over the next few weeks.

Owing to his Parliamentary record, Jeremy Corbyn is exempt. Iain Duncan Smith’s is being fitted inside his mouth and will be triggered whenever he tries to speak.

A man approaches a bicycle, handheld electric saw at the ready. He powers it on, starts to drill, and is shot in the face with a noxious spray that makes him vomit uncontrollably. This is the dream of the inventors of SkunkLock.

“Basically we were fed up with thefts,” said Daniel Idzkowski from San Francisco one of the inventors of SkunkLock. “The real last straw was we had a friend park his very expensive electric bike outside a Whole Foods, and then went to have lunch and chat. We went out and his bike was gone.”

Idzkowski’s friend had used two locks, each $120, whose inability to stop a thief outraged him. “I blurted out, ‘why didn’t it blow his balls off?’”

Source: Bike lock developed that makes thieves immediately vomit | Life and style | The Guardian

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