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Ramsgate ferry terminal: It would have been home to the Seaborne ferry service.

Why is it that Jeremy Corbyn is the subject of a – by all accounts – dreary biography attempting paint him as a danger, when Chris Grayling – a fool who is a genuine danger to himself – goes uncelebrated? A book about that clown would be a page-turning laugh-a-minute.

The latest embarrassment for the Transport Secretary who can’t get anything moving is the cancellation of his contract for post-“no deal”-Brexit work with ferry firm Seaborne Freight – a company that had no ships, no trading history, and no previous experience running a ferry service.

Not only that, but the ferry-free freight firm’s internet page cut-and-pasted its terms and conditions from a takeaway website, its log-in portal was found to redirect directly to Google’s home page; neither of the listed phone numbers appeared to be manned, with both stating ‘there is no one available to take your call’ and offering no chance to leave a message; other features, such as language settings, were only for show and could not be clicked; and despite Mr Grayling saying Seaborne was on track to run services from April, the firm’s recruitment page was empty when it was checked last month.

Now it turns out that the deal was being secretly supported by an Irish firm – Arklow Shipping – but this company had now backed out and for this reason, Mr Grayling was cancelling the £13.8 million deal.

This is the second Brexit-related secret deal that has come to light in recent days. What else is the Tory government failing to tell us about the most serious change the UK’s citizens will have to face in our lifetimes?

Returning to Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader has branded the collapse of the ferry deal as “ludicrous”. Watch:

Public opinion on the decision, and on Mr Grayling, is divided – but only regarding how best to ridicule him:

And this is just the latest episode in a political life that would make fine material for a comic novel.

So come on, weekend newspapers. Instead of giving us a load of old tripe that proves Mr Corbyn is a very dull, very serious man with the best intentions for the country – exactly the kind of person we need, in fact – why not give us all a boost and serialise the misadventures of this Tory blunderer?

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