Tag Archives: Ayres

Tory U-turn over ‘Rivers of Sh*t’ ‘doesn’t come close’ to what is needed

Minehead beach: you might be more sensible than to allow your child to play in the human waste that you see here – but other people clearly aren’t.

We all breathed a sigh of relief and rejoiced that we could once again smell the roses after the government announced its new plan to progressively force water companies to reduce the amount of sewage in our rivers and in the sea. Didn’t we?

No. Here’s our water quality correspondent, Feargal Sharkey:

He also had an answer to Tories like This Writer’s MP, Fay Jones, who claimed that the public would be forced to pay for improvements to the UK’s sewers:

Hear, hear!

On a side note, you have to agree with Omid on this, don’t you?

But what did the water bosses have to say about this?

They weren’t available to be interviewed, of course, because none of them live in the UK!

Our water companies are run by the governments of eight other nations: Singapore, Australia, Kuwait, Canada, Norway, UAE, Qatar and Malaysia.

That’s pretty close to it! Of course, the government has said that it will require the water companies to clean up their act (and our waterways) progressively but it is extremely unlikely that this will happen unless the Treasury provides some stimulus.

In the meantime, we have this:

And this:

Dead seagulls have already been spotted at Southend, I believe. This is one of the top beach resorts serving Londoners, remember.

Also this:

The worst part is that a family was letting their child paddle in the Minehead sewage. People really don’t know any better than not to play with the brown stuff. How many people will catch cholera before the government gets the message?

Well, the Tories wanted a workforce that was less educated than they were, and judging from Boris Johnson, that was setting the bar very low indeed.

At least the satirists have been sharpening their tools. Here’s a selection of their offerings – these are the tools we should use to remind the Tories of their big mistake:

This is particularly good from national treasure Pam Ayres:

And what has actually been done to stop the dissemination of sewage into our waterways, land, crops, food animals and dinner plates in the meantime?

Absolutely nothing.

Have YOU donated to my crowdfunding appeal, raising funds to fight false libel claims by TV celebrities who should know better? These court cases cost a lot of money so every penny will help ensure that wealth doesn’t beat justice.


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