At long last, the autobiography of former prime minister David C.A. Moron is due to be released in September – to a fawning press pack and an incredulous public.
For the Record was written in a shack at the bottom of his Cornwall garden, presumably because Mrs C.A. Moron refused to let him use that kind of language in the house.
Now, we’re told, he has swapped the shack for an £8,000 hot tub – just in time for summer. Let’s hope it rains on him every day. Not on anybody else – just him.
Well, far be it from This Writer to miss an opportunity to cash in.
My own account of Mr C.A. Moron’s life – or at least the part when he was running the UK into the ground – will be released in August.
It will feature the full, unexpurgated, unwholesome truth about one of the most ignominious periods in UK history (apart from all the other ones).
Every word will be fully factually-accurate – except for the parts I put in for a giggle.
It will be fully unauthorised – you don’t think I’m letting a politician anywhere near dynamite like this, do you?
To whet your appetite, here’s just the first sentence of my opus – which I guarantee contains more accuracy than the whole of Mr C.A. Moron’s work of fiction contractual obligation labour of love.
Here it is:
“Few people remember that David C.A. Moron is a distant relative of Queen Elzbells herself. Her Majesty herself is extremely modest about it, deflecting inquiries with a quiet demurral or a threat of assassination. That’s depending on the prominence of the person in question.”
And the rest is even better!
Make a date in your diary: Comedy Dave, by Mike Sivier. Coming in August from Vox Political press, priced £29.99 (paperback) or £29.98 (eBook) (prices may vary depending on how greedy I feel).
*Note for those who need it: This article is satirical. Any resemblance between fictional characters mentioned in it and genuine individuals is intended to be humorous and is not to be taken seriously. To anybody who does: What’s the matter? Can’t you recognise a joke?
Have YOU donated to my crowdfunding appeal, raising funds to fight false libel claims by TV celebrities who should know better? These court cases cost a lot of money so every penny will help ensure that wealth doesn’t beat justice.
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