Category Archives: Comedy

What a Carry On as Twitter challenge leads to more embarrassment for the Tories

Dream casting: a Carry On Film about the current government (Carry On Cocking Up?) would feature Charles Hawtrey (right) as Jacob Rees-Mogg and Hattie Jacques as Boris Johnson.

A humorous challenge on Twitter has led to embarrassment for the Johnson government as users lined up to mock ministers’ efforts to contain Covid-19, control migrants and continue with Brexit.

It was laid down as follows:

And then the fun began – often using titles reminiscent of the actual Carry On films:

Some entries just took potshots at the Tories, their cronies, and other politicians:

And, in fairness, some focused on our own behaviour in the face of the crises into which the Tories have pitched us:

Does anybody else suddenly want to watch a real Carry On film now? Those were simpler times – if only in terms of what passed as entertainment…

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Another rotten week under the Tories. Let’s make fun of them

Tory UK, 2020: life is hard, and likely to get worse as the Tory jackboot grinds Covid-19 into our faces while claiming to be doing the exact opposite.

These creeps demand our absolute obedience or they will bring in the armed forces to crush us.

So let’s have a laugh at their expense, eh?

On Monday, @RussinCheshire tweeted his #TheWeekInTory, which is always a good read:

On Monday, Chris Whitty and Sir Patrick Vallance, the UK’s chief medical officer and chief scientific adviser, appeared on TV to explain why Covid-19 is running rampant through the UK despite everything we’ve been told to do to stop it. No member of the Johnson government was there…

On Tuesday, Boris Johnson announced his new Covid-19 related restrictions, which won’t actually halt the spread of the virus but at least make it seem he’s doing something, if you’re a brain-dead Tory sycophant.

Many of us aren’t. The image at the top is on response. Here are a few more:

Alternatively…

Wednesday was the day of Kexit – when it was announced that the UK would have an internal border after all – between the rest of us and Kent:

 

The UK’s new border: and the Tories can’t say it’s being imposed on us by anybody but them.

The end of the week got a bit serious, with the launch of the NHS Covid-19 contact tracing app that doesn’t like NHS Covid-19 tests and won’t do any contact tracing.

Then again, after telling us he hadn’t been to Italy – and telling the nation we all have to batten down the hatches and put up with another six months (at least) of Covid misery – now with added job losses and poverty – we find that Boris Johnson’s significant other, Carrie Symonds, was photographed on holibobs in Italy after all. All right for some, eh?

Makes you wonder about BoJob’s Russian connections who live there, doesn’t it?

If you have any more fun stuff from the week, feel free to send it via the comments.

We need all the smiles we can get.

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Vladimir Putin is keen for us to get on with Brexit. Let’s laugh at him

Putin: He’s a big noise on the international stage but still hasn’t worked up the courage to go “full Godiva”.

Russian president Vladimir Putin thinks he’s a proper cheeky monkey, doesn’t he?

We all know there is evidence that suggests his government interfered with the European Union referendum in 2016, thanks to the efforts of campaigns like Arron Banks’s Leave.EU.

Part of that evidence includes a claim by current UK Chancellor Philip Hammond that Russia was the only country that would benefit from the UK leaving the EU – and now Mr Putin is demanding that the UK get on with it.

Trouble is, there are many people in the UK who say the decision to leave is based on false information and tainted by the (alleged) interference of Mr Putin and Russia.

So we need to be a little circumspect about the matter – and the last thing we want is to rush into anything just because the leader of some other country is antagonising us.

He’s probably worried about the increasing likelihood of a so-called “People’s Vote” mandating the government to keep us in the EU after all.

And in fact, his nagging tends to support the case against people lie Mr Banks, and undermines the validity of the decision of that 2016 plebiscite.

Furthermore, after he was accused of responsibility for the Salisbury and Amesbury poisonings by Theresa May, British people are rightly wondering why he thinks Mrs May would want to do anything, just because he demanded it. The fact that she is desperately trying to get us out of the EU before the end of March is therefore a mystery to us – unless we conclude that she really does have friends who are tax evaders and is trying to protect them from a Euro law that comes into force in April.

So I tend to support the decision of those on the social media who have chosen to make a mockery of the Russian leader instead.

If you’ve seen a comment that you think should be included, feel free to send it in as a comment.

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After Theresa May’s ‘begging bowl’ tour of Europe, the world is laughing at her

We all said Theresa May would expose the UK and its people to ridicule from the outside world, and now we have proof.

It is particularly striking that one of the strongest examples of such ridicule comes from the United States, where Mrs May’s Conservative government has placed its hopes for any kind of economic future after we drop out of the European Union in either of the two diabolical ways she has lined up for us.

On December 15, top US sketch show Saturday Night Live ran the following satire on Mrs May, featuring none other than Matt Damon as David Cameron:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mtet4-dJy8

Back here in the UK, we learnt that Sue Perkins admires Mrs May “in the same way I admire shit on a shoe”. She went on to praise the PM’s ability to “cling on” as “the stuff of legend”:

And pro-Jeremy Corbyn movement Momentum compared Mrs May’s attempts to win concessions from the EU with other horrific and painful failures:

Meanwhile, on a wall in France…

“I think that Jeremy Corbyn would be a great leader of the world.”

One supposes Mrs May is to be congratulated. She has made the rest of the world see what the UK’s electorate has yet to admit:

The best leader available to the UK right now – and the only one capable of solving the Brexit dilemma that Mrs May (and – thank you, SNL – David Cameron) created – is Jeremy Corbyn.

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Tories announce ‘Brexit 50p piece’. Public mockery is worth a fortune

Realism: A mock-up of the way the ‘Brexit 50p’ would look in an honest country.

The Conservative government has hit a new level of self-parody with its announcement of a commemorative 50p piece to mark the day the UK leaves the European Union.

The coin will be inscribed “Friendship with all nations” as the UK solemnises its divorce from 27 of them.

Needless to say, the public reaction has been monumental – and the coin was only announced this morning (October 29).

TalkRADIO on Twitter asked what words people would prefer to have on the coin. Comedian David Schneider responded: “How about “Nos mentiti sunt, futuae iam sumus” or “We were lied to, now we are f***ed”?”

Of course, some shrewd characters have noticed that the announcement has come on the day Chancellor Philip Hammond reveals his latest Budget – which is bound to be nothing more than a stop-gap measure until the end of March because leaving the EU is bound to change the economy radically and there’s no way Phil the Bleak will be ready for it.

https://twitter.com/ToryFibs/status/1056859521526706177

And the Budget itself…?

Good advice, that. Sadly, around 13 million people regularly show that they do permit themselves to be insulted in this way – increasing to more than 17 million in the EU referendum of 2016 that put us all in this sill mess in the first place.

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No need for satirists – now the Tories are sending THEMSELVES up!

Sajid Javid: He’s the enemy of hope but the friend of humorists. This image was made in mockery of his wide-legged stance in publicity shots when he was first appointed as Home Secretary.

Day two of the Tory conference was a moment for people who make fun of politicians for a living – and we all enjoyed the results, didn’t we?

By day three, we didn’t even need their services – the Tories were providing all the humour themselves.

For example, here’s Sajid Javid, barely succeeding in preventing himself from saying his party is the enemy of hope:

How about Sir Edward Leigh MP, calling for incestuous civil partnerships to be legalised?

Meanwhile, attendance at the conference has been exactly as expected:

Well, what did they expect? The Tories were charging upwards of £500 per ticket!

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Adam Hills explains how ordinary people can fight terrorism

150904thelastleghills
Thanks to Vox Political commenter Chris Kitcher for reminding me about this.

You’ll be aware that This Writer is a huge fan of Channel 4’s The Last Leg and its host, Adam Hills’, approach to issues like the current terrorist threat.

Today he posted a Facebook status that should be sent to representatives of all Western governments as an example of what they should be doing – and an alternative to what they are doing.

It is particularly pertinent to the UK, as Mr Hills makes it perfectly clear that British Government representatives advised him to take the course of action he has followed.

Why aren’t they taking their own advice?

I’ve been called a lot of things in the past few days, many of them deserved. “Leftie wanker”. “Islam apologist”. “Unfunny ****.” I’ve also been called a “traitor” and even worse, “un-Australian.”

Here’s why I don’t think those last two apply.

Earlier this year I was invited to an Australia Day drinks function at the Australian High Commission in London. As the beer flowed and the lamingtons were passed around I found myself in deep conversation with a variety of governmental experts on The Middle East and in particular, Syria.

As this was a few weeks after the Charlie Hebdo attacks I took the opportunity to find out all I could about this so-called Islamic State group.

I learned a lot of things that night, but the one that stood out was this: Islamic State need recruits and they have two steps to get them.

1) Create an uprising against Muslims in the West by carrying out attacks in the name of Allah.
2) Then when young Muslims feel rejected by Western society, make ISIS look like a cool alternative.

Please remember, this was all expressed to me by officials of both the Australian and British Governments.

It seemed to me that a good way of combatting this would be 1) be nice to non-ISIS related Muslims (ie the vast majority of Muslims) and 2) make ISIS look like idiots.

I ran this past my friends at the High Commission, who agreed that this was indeed a good thing to do.

Now there aren’t a lot of things a one-legged comedian can do to combat a bunch of pricks like ISIS, but when experts in the field from your own government tell you what you can do – you damn well do it.

The next week on the show I host – “The Last Leg” – we ran an on-air competition to rename ISIS. The winner was a lady who tweeted “Cyst-ISIS: cos they’re irritating twats”. From that day forth we only ever referred to them as Cystisis.

We then ran a weekly segment called “The G-Hadi Spot” in which we attempted to ridicule them whenever we could.

We played Cystisis training videos with the Benny Hill music over the top. We celebrated the young girls who defrauded them out of thousands of dollars. We made our own ads for the caliphate, in which we clearly mocked them.

We also increased security at the studios. A live TV show would be the perfect target for these arseholes, and to this day my Mum still pleads with me not to provoke them each week.

In amongst all this, I did my best to remind our viewers that Cystisis are interpreting the Islamic faith in a highly extreme, and self-serving way, and that the vast, vast, vast majority of Muslims – around 99.997 per cent – disapprove of them.

I did all this, not because I am a hippy dippy idealist who believes that fairy wings and puppy dog farts can change the world. I did this because I was advised by representatives of my government who are way smarter than I am, that it was the right thing to do.

I might be an unfunny leftie wanker, but I’m no traitor.

And the thing is – you can do it too. There are countless memes going around at the moment decrying Islam; there are people saying their businesses are closed to Muslims; there are jokes going around making Muslims the punchline.

All you have to do is use the word ISIS instead of Islam. Mock the arseholes who are really causing the damage. Cos they hate that. Call them Cystisis. Say your business is closed to any Cystisis member who wants your services. Make a meme about how deluded Cystisis are.

It’s what your government wants you to do.
And what could be more Australian than taking the piss out of those who deserve it, while giving a fair go to those who need it?

It’s a British attribute as well – although Conservatives may choose to forget that every now and then.

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Closing time for Farage as ‘Pub Landlord’ challenges for Thanet South?

The last Al in Parliament with this kind of self-confidence was B'stard (too soon?) [Image: Sky News].

The last Al in Parliament with this kind of self-confidence was B’stard (too soon?) [Image: Sky News].

We may not have seen a battle of heavyweights like this since Martin Bell took down Neil Hamilton for the Tatton Parliamentary seat in 1997.

Sadly, Tatton has passed on to a political lightweight – someone called George Osborne – but now all eyes are turning to Thanet South, where UKIP leader Nigel Farage’s  Parliamentary campaign is now facing its greatest challenge – from comedian Al Murray.

Farage might like a pint and a smoke outside a pub, but Al’s the Pub Landlord. It’s a bookie’s dream.

According to his ‘Free UK Party’ FUKP website, the Pub Landlord has 13 “common sense” policies. Here they are:

The website is at http://www.thepublandlord.com and on Twitter @FUKPnews

You know it makes common sense!

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Elton has last laugh over Gove’s Great War gaff

Left-wing propaganda piece? Sir Tony Robinson (right) with Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder Goes Forth.

Respect: Why ruin your day with a picture of Michael Gove when we can all enjoy a shot of Rowan Atkinson and Sir Tony Robinson as Blackadder and Baldrick in Blackadder Goes Forth?

It seems some prominent people are finding that the metaphorical chickens they had thought long laid to rest are now coming home to roost. The BBC inadvertently invited comparisons with a scene from V for Vendetta during the Million Mask March, after failing to cover a similar event in June, and now Michael Gove is facing embarrassment for things he said even further back in history.

For indeed and yea verily, it was January when Mr Gove in his role as Education Secretary tried to prove that his mission really was to set the UK back 90 years – by claiming that one of Britain’s most revered TV comedies, Blackadder Goes Forth, peddled left-wing “myths” about the First World War, “designed to belittle Britain and its leaders”.

He was quoted as follows: “Our understanding of the war has been overlaid by misunderstandings, and misrepresentations which reflect an, at best, ambiguous attitude to this country and, at worst, an unhappy compulsion on the part of some to denigrate virtues such as patriotism, honour and courage.”

One of the show’s stars, Sir Tony Robinson, weighed in with a quick response in contradiction, but now one of the show’s writers has added his two-pennyworth – and sure enough, it seems he’s going to have the last laugh.

Now, immaculately timed to take place right before Remembrance Day for the best impact, Blackadder co-writer Ben Elton told the BBC his latest novel was inspired by Gove’s jingoistic rant. Yes – he’s going to profit from words that Gove clearly intended as a rebuke.

Entitled Time and Time Again, the book tells the story of a man who travels back in time to stop World War I.

“I had been toying with the idea of writing a novel about the causes of the First World War but I certainly got some lead in my pencil when myself, Richard and Rowan Atkinson were all being blamed for a lack of respect for WW1 because of Blackadder,” he said.

“I think what Michael Gove said is clearly idiocy. Blackadder is well researched, it’s a comedy, it’s a satire, it satirises history which is a long and honourable British tradition.

Blackadder was deeply respectful to the good things about WW1, which are, of course, that it showed the magnificent strength of the human spirit, the ability to love, loyalty and love of country.”

He was speaking to the BBC’s Front Row radio programme – and you can listen to the full interview by visiting the show’s mini-site and clicking the appropriate link.

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An hour of honesty at the Daily Mail

Image: Crowdwish.

Image: Crowdwish.

Have a good look at the picture above. If you click on it, you should get a larger version.

The sign it depicts was erected on the wall of the Daily Mail offices in London yesterday by an organisation calling itself Crowdwish (@crowdwish – “The most popular wish of the day actioned. Today, tomorrow and forever.”) and the tweet accompanying this picture stated: “For one – very satisfying – hour the sign below adorned The Daily Mail offices this afternoon.”

The blogpost accompanying the picture explained that it was in response to a wish that the media would focus more on the good things that happen in the world.

“The fact is that bad news sells; negative events cause spikes in TV ratings, sales of papers to rise and increases in traffic online,” the article continued – and this is fair comment; Vox Political‘s own highest reader figures have been generated by disasters like the passing of the Gagging Law.

The article explained: “Man’s (and women’s) most primeval survival skill is to stay out of harms way; to be alert to threats or danger, and our brains are therefore hardwired to be highly responsive to negative stimuli. Bad is stronger than good because bad is inherently more threatening.

“As a result the media cater very directly to that powerful physiological reaction, giving us more of that which we fixate on and respond to, resulting in a slant towards negative news.”

The article went on to quote a specific example: “a very comprehensive list of all things that the Daily Mail have claimed ‘may’ cause cancer. The list includes water, soup, wearing flip flops and switching on the bathroom light at night.

“It’s more hilarious than offensive but led us to want to have a cheap laugh at the Mail’s expense this afternoon, it being Friday and all.

“So we made a faux-marble sign that we thought displayed a more accurate depiction of the Mail’s true editorial values, and sent someone – dressed as a workman in hard had and Hi Vis vest – to fix it to the side of their building in Kensington.

“Amazingly, it was a full hour before somebody noticed and removed it.

“Yes, we know the Daily Mail is an obvious target, and no, we don’t think it was very grown-up.”

It must have felt good, though.

Anyone wishing to keep an eye on Crowdwish’s future activities – or who wants to make a request – can do so via the address above.

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