Tag Archives: ridicule

Starmer ridiculed again over retrospective exclusion of Labour members. Here are some great takedowns

Shamed: keep your eyes down, Keir – otherwise you’ll read another tweet taking you down.

Earlier this week, members of the public were scandalised to learn that former Labour General Secretary candidate Pamela Fitzpatrick is being threatened with auto-exclusion from the party, because she gave an interview to now-proscribed organisation Socialist Appeal.

She did it more than a year ago, when it was not proscribed and she had no reason to believe it ever would be.

Obviously, Labour’s position is ridiculous. The threat against Ms Fitzpatrick should be dropped and a fulsome apology issued. The party has put itself in yet another humiliating position.

But critics have decided that it’s not bad enough, and have provided their own contribution to the debate. Let’s enjoy some of them.

If This Writer hadn’t been kicked out of Labour for being an impartial political journalist, I might be worried.

They can’t get me on the Blockbuster rap but I fear my record on Rolos, and membership of the Tufty Club, may have mitigated against me.

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How can anyone support Boris Johnson, knowing the contempt he has for them?

Contempt: Boris Johnson exhibits his honest reaction to the ordinary people of the United Kingdom who voted him into the highest office in the land.

If you know anybody who still thinks Boris Johnson gives a damn about their interests, or has the well-being of the UK at heart, tell them what happened to Damian Furniss.

Mr Furniss is now a writer and a worker in health and social care, based in Devon. But in 1984, he was awaiting an interview for a place at Balliol College, Oxford, when he encountered Johnson at the bar:

“Three years older than me, and half way through the second class degree in Classics he coasted through with the diligence he later applied to journalism and red box briefings, you’d have expected him to play the ambassador role, welcoming an aspiring member of his college.

“Instead, his piss-taking was brutal. In the course of the pint I felt obliged to finish he mocked my speech impediment, my accent, my school, my dress sense, my haircut, my background, my father’s work as farm worker and garage proprietor, and my prospects in the scholarship interview I was there for. His only motive was to amuse his posh boy mates.

“In short, he demonstrated all of the character flaws that make him unfit to be our Prime Minister. Nothing I see today suggests he has changed. He’s not Falstaff, he’s Faust. If you are an ordinary working person and think he has your interests at heart, think again.”

Read it for yourself, if you are able to read text in images:

The trouble is, there are millions of ordinary working people who still – unaccountably – reckon that Johnson does have their interests at heart.

If you know any of them, please do the rest of us a favour.

Tell them about what happened to Mr Furniss. Get them to read this article if you can.

And then make it clear to them that Boris Johnson would treat them in exactly the same way.

He’s an overprivileged, entitled posh boy whose only interest is his own enrichment. He thinks you exist purely to supply him and his oiky buddies with free money, or to entertain them by submitting to his insults and bullying.

He doesn’t care about you and he never will – and everything he does is intended to harm you.

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Something for the weekend, Mr Hancock? Here’s what you’ve given us [HUMOUR/STRONG LANGUAGE]

The last day or so have been a hard time for Matt Hancock and he has said he would appreciate being left alone to come to terms with the revelations about his love life.

FAT CHANCE!

It’s bonanza time for those of us who enjoy mocking what’s he’s been doing with his banana.

I haven’t even seen much of what’s going around but I know you’ll get a kick out of this…

… and this (it’s long, which is probably more than we can say for Matt, and it’s enjoyable, which again…)…

Oh dear – it seems Facebook is demanding you watch it on that platform. Please do. In the meantime, here’s – the real – Matt strutting his stuff on stage with Therese Coffey. What a sex machine!

How about this comment on Hancock being busy saving lives?

A friend of mine has tried to raise the tone by comparing the photo of Hancock having that extra-regulatory snog with Gina Coladangelo with classical art:

Apparently the choice of colours make it much more like The Scream than what was probably intended:

You go for Klimt but you get Munch. I’m sure many women understand that sensation.

Never mind, Matt – you can always try to justify it by saying you’re an “Alpha Male”. Just don’t expect anybody to take you seriously… ever again.

One parting shot: here’s Jonathan Pie to bring it all home to Hancock in a big way. Be warned that he doesn’t hold back at all and the language is extreme:

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Matt Hancock’s amateur theatrics mock the commencement of Covid vaccinations

Matt Hancock: this would have been a more honest reaction to a working-class person getting the Covid vaccination.

If you’ve never agreed with Kerry-Anne Mendoza before, you may agree with this:

What an absolute disgrace.

Matt Hancock tried to pretend he was tearing up at the sight of a gentleman named William Shakespeare (no kidding; I think they must have searched him out for the photo opportunity) being among the first to get the new Covid-19 vaccination.

Instead he made it seem that he was laughing at us all.

That’s a dangerous thing for a government minister to do, after presiding over tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths due to poor preparation and tens of thousands more after giving away billions of pounds to fellow Conservatives who claimed they were running companies that could help but turned out to be liars in expensive suits.

Still, some of us managed to laugh at him…

Meanwhile, 616 more people were reported to have died of the virus yesterday, meaning the death rate has maintained its level of more than 600 per day, despite Hancock’s (claimed) efforts to get it down. His English lockdown achieved nothing.

The total number of cases increased by 12,282 – down slightly from 14,718 cases recorded on Monday.

The total number of people who have died within 28 days of testing positive for the virus is now 62,033 (according to the new recording system. The actual number of Covid-19-related deaths is much higher).

The total number of people to test positive for the virus in the last seven days has reached 107,158.

And since the pandemic started, there have been 1,750,241 confirmed Covid-19 infections in the UK.

It has now been revealed that London emerged from Boris Johnson’s second lockdown with more Covid-19 cases than when it started, with rates still rising across three quarters of the city’s 32 boroughs in the week to 3 December.

Public Health England data shows that there were 174.1 infections per 100,000 London residents in the seven days to 3 December – up from 154.5 a week earlier.

Analysis by The Independent found this figure to be higher than dozens of areas in Tier 3, including Middlesbrough (170), Manchester (166), Nottingham (152), Leeds (150), Bristol (141) and Newcastle-upon-Tyne (128).

London is in Tier 2.

But that’s as much of an amateur theatrical show as Hancock’s fake tears.

The Tories axed their defence against coronavirus years before it arrived. Deaths were inevitable


Not only has Boris Johnson’s response to coronavirus sparked ridicule around the world, but he is also being pilloried for failing to do anything to prepare for it.

It seems to validate criticisms that he was hoping the pandemic would simply kill off all the so-called “useless eaters” – people on benefits with illnesses or disabilities that make them vulnerable to Covid-19 – meaning that his government wouldn’t have to support them any more.

According to the Huffington Post, the Cabinet Office has been producing a National Risk Register of Civil Emergencies – a list of possible disasters that may face the UK – along with plans to deal with them.

Every such document – every single one – has listed pandemic flu as the most probable and devastating threat to the UK.

The government knew it was coming – but the strategy to deal with it was written in 2011 and is therefore many years out-of-date.

Also out of date is the government’s UK Pandemic Influenza Communications Strategy, the crucial document for getting the right messages across to the public. It was written in 2012 and is wildly inaccurate in its assumptions about how and where people now get their information.

It gets worse.  The guide to dealing with the fatalities of the pandemic, complete with supposed key named contacts, was last published in 2008.

And the dedicated government Pandemic Influenza Preparedness Team based in the Department of Health, and tasked with tackling this type of crisis, vanished around 2011.

That’s right – the Tories got rid of the organisation that would have had the expertise to deal with coronavirus, way back in the first round of austerity-driven cuts.

How short-sighted can these daft toffs be?

The Tories deliberately divested themselves of the latest evidence, policy or science.

HuffPost says this means “the government has had to either make policy up as it has gone along or is having to beg, borrow and steal from other countries who have been better prepared”.

It means that lives have almost certainly been lost unnecessarily.

And the rest of the world is well aware that Boris Johnson has been a bigger danger to the British public than the disease itself, as The Guardian has reported.

Greek newspaper Ethnos described him as “more dangerous than coronavirus”. It said: “Boris Johnson had gone out publicly and essentially asked Britons … to accept death.”

“Boris Johnson is gambling with the health of his citizens,” said the Irish Times.

The HuffPost‘s claim that Johnson had been trying to catch up because his party had rid itself of all its own useful guidance is borne out by The Guardian‘s sources:

Politicians, scientists and commentators greeted the prime minister’s U-turn on Monday night, when he ordered a UK-wide lockdown, as a belated but welcome decision to join the rest of Europe, and much of the world, in a necessary strategy.

The mystery is why it took so long.

After the prime minister’s sudden reversal, one official in Dublin expressed relief. “The Brits were doing their own thing and it looked like we were going to have to live with it. They got there in the end.”

It was a variation of an observation attributed to Winston Churchill about America doing the right thing after exhausting all other options.

Last week the prime minister made an initial concession to physical distancing – a key tactic to slow contagion – by asking people to avoid pubs. But he did not close them and many people, including his own father, Stanley, cheerily said they still planned to go out for a drink. Nevertheless, Johnson expressed confidence such limited measures were working and could “turn the tide” within 12 weeks.

Many outsiders were aghast. The pandemic was out of control in Italy and Spain, killing thousands, and surging across the globe, prompting a scramble to emulate Chinese-style lockdowns.

The French president, Emmanuel Macron, reportedly threatened to close France’s border with Britain last Friday if it did not intensify measures.

Others worried about the fate of friends and relatives in Britain. Giorgio Gori, the mayor of Bergamo, the city hardest hit by Italy’s coronavirus outbreak, flew his two daughters out of the UK, deeming them safer at home.

Let that sink in.

Italy is the country hardest-hit by coronavirus, and the mayor of the Italian city that was hardest-hit flew his own children back there, because he thought they would be safer there than in the UK.

Looking at all the evidence, doesn’t he have a point?

Source: The Government Knew A Pandemic Was Coming But They Didn’t Do Anything To Prepare | HuffPost UK

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Tories pretend their press office is a ‘fact check’ organisation. Public ridicule is hilarious

The Conservative Party seems to be getting desperate.

Its press office resorted to the dirty trick of pretending to be a ‘fact check’ organisation during the ITV leaders’ debate – presumably so it could tweet a (false) claim that Boris Johnson won the confrontation.

Well, that didn’t work!

Not only did people take extreme offence at the pretense…

… but they also decided to have their own laugh at the Tories’ expense.

Take a look at some of these examples:

https://twitter.com/HKesvani/status/1196893828529164289

Way to go, Tories. Not only did your man mess up his big TV appearance…

But you’ve also ensured that nobody will believe another word to come out of your publicity machine.

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What’s worse – the fact the Tories left a 64-year-old man to starve, or some of the reactions to it?

[Image from Pride’s Purge, using material from Terry Craven’s Facebook page.]

I was shocked when I saw the images above – as I expect you may be, if you are seeing them here for the first time.

They are of a 64-year-old man living in Birkenhead, here in the UK. He had been left to starve by the Conservative government’s barbaric mockery of a benefit system until, at the time these images were taken (Christmas Eve, 2018), he weighed just six stone, had contracted pneumonia and was “at death’s door”.

Employment law advisor Terry Craven provides the full story on his Facebook page:

“Please spare a thought for this 64 year old severely disabled client of mine? Please share this post to see if we can garner a response from the Tories although I doubt we will.

“My client was thrown off ESA by ATOS 18 months ago. Since then, he has been expected to sign on. Obviously, he’s been sanctioned and forced to go hungry. so much so he weighs 6 stone. On Friday [December 21], not surprisingly he was at death’s door with pneumonia. Fortunately, I was able to get him into hospital. Evidently, his left lung was full of fluid with his right not much better. He’s now on the mend.

“He has been unable to heat or look after his home properly because his health has deteriorated which I suggest is obvious from the photographs. He lives in one room of his 3 bedroom house he rents from a private landlord. It is rat infested, he cannot use the toilet nor is he strong enough to put water in a kettle. He relies on bottled water. I am making efforts to have him rehoused in sheltered accommodation. However, I think he may have to go into a nursing/residential home in the interim.

“Birkenhead Benefits Centre has ignored my continuous pleas for help, heartless bastards!

“Well here’s wishing May, IDS, Esther McVey a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. The one thing which is certain is my client will not have one thanks to their evil, Dickensian policies. I hope they all rot in hell for the sickness, death and hunger the Tories have heaped on disabled people since 2010. My Christmas wish is for a general election and a Corbyn/McDonell government.”

By now, you may be even more appalled than when you saw the images. But there is an even more horrifying aspect to this story – the reaction of some members of the public.

Initial responses were as one might have expected from members of the public faced with such a shocking revelation of the reality of Conservative benefit policies:

But others were not so sympathetic. What kind of person writes the kind of comment provided by “dorsetphill”, below?

How about the abhorrent attitude of “Crantastic”, here?

I tend to agree with Ezzie Wilfred. Anyone reacting with such a lack of simple human compassion has been damaged by the Conservatives too – just not in a way that is as visible as the 64-year-old in the photographs, who is another victim of attempted Tory chequebook euthanasia.

The constant drip-feeding of Tory propaganda against benefit claimants, the sick and the old has desensitised these people. I would say they may even be suffering from a form of sociopathic disorder.

Or they may be trolls who have been paid to tweet poison at us, in order to “nudge” public opinion into line with what the Tories want. Judging by the fact that both the offensive accounts mentioned above have been around for many years but neither has many followers, this seems likely.

The best thing to do when encountering accounts like these is to block them.

Theresa May announced a crackdown on social media abuse in February last year, but these people are still here.

You may come to a conclusion about the reason for that. I could not possibly comment.

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Fake ‘anti-Semitism’ accusers are fabricating hate to turn opinion against the innocent

Extreme flatulence: According to JVLWatch, this is a sign that Hitler is being portrayed as a superhero. How many superheroes do YOU know who have the farts?

If anti-Semitism is rife in the Labour Party, why are the accusers having to lie about it?

This morning (November 1), I woke up to an email from a friend, as follows: “Mike just letting you know this lot on Twitter appear to be targeting individuals who have donated to your crowd fund.”

“This lot” would be a new name on the fake anti-Semitism bandwagon, JVLWatch on Twitter (joined September 2017). I have no doubt that the same old liars are behind it, though.

Who knows – they may even be connected with the right-wing ‘anti-Semitism’ troll that Skwawkbox has exposed for promoting a fake anti-Semitic Twitter account and then inventing a biography for the same nonexistent person. Read about it here.

You may be aware that This Writer has been falsely accused of anti-Semitism, and I have launched a crowdfunding campaign to take my accusers to court for defamation.

JVLWatch appears to be attacking people who are contributing to my JustGiving site, who happen to be members of Jewish Voice for Labour.

For example:

https://twitter.com/JVL_Watch/status/1057381787805147136

The claim refers to a comic strip I wrote for a small-press publication called Violent! which I created in 1999. Violent! was a tribute to the 1970s comics legend Action. I created a series for it entitled Hard-Boiled Hitler.

The strip parodies Hitler’s career using themes common to superhero comics – but there I part company with JVLWatch, whose authors have either never read the story or are deliberately trying to mislead the public.

In HBH, Hitler is the recipient of superhuman abilities in a similar manner to that of Captain America – but he steals the syringe containing the serum that gives him these powers and shoots up in a filthy toilet. A superhero? Perhaps not!

The scene referenced in the tweet, in which “Hitler punches through gas clouds, using the Nazi phrase to justify aryan supremacy & extermination of Jews” is, of course, nothing of the sort.

It may interest you to know that The Sun and The Sunday Times tried to use this strip as justification of their claim that I was an anti-Semite, to the press regulator IPSO. After reading my response, the regulator dismissed the claim out of hand.

Here’s what I wrote:

“I find it interesting that the representative mentions the humorous – yes it was! – comic strip I wrote, ‘Hard-Boiled Hitler‘. From the way it is mentioned, I would have suggested that nobody involved with The Sunday Times has read it, or they would have realised that it in no way supports Hitler or the Nazis, and is in no way anti-Semitic.

“The whole idea was to ridicule the man, his ideas, and the political party that promoted them – and to warn that, unless the people are vigilant, it can be easy for such people to gain power, no matter how silly they really are.

“I was going to raise the issue of anti-Semitism in the strip: The intention was to have veiled references to something going on in the background – as I recall, the Allies had no idea what was going on for most of the war – until I reached an appropriate time in the narrative for the liberation of a concentration camp. Then, I think the appropriate metaphor is, the other shoe drops – it would have become apparent that, while this ridiculous character was behaving in the ridiculous ways chronicled in the previous episodes, he had also been carrying out the genocides for which the real Hitler is justly infamous.

“The point would have been that even the most clownish of people may be capable of the most heinous of crimes. Nowadays I would connect that to the behaviour of real people in power at the moment, around the world, but I wasn’t as politically-motivated at the time. Unfortunately, the series was cut short by the premature death of the artist.

“Nobody who worked on it considered it to be anti-Semitic – if it was, one might as well suggest that every war comic published since 1945 was anti-Semitic too, because most of them don’t even mention the Holocaust. How could they miss out something so central to our understanding of that conflict? But of course they are not. I have no reason to believe that any of the readers considered it to be anti-Semitic either – certainly nobody ever contacted us to express such concerns.

“I am therefore drawn to the conclusion that The Sunday Times – and anybody else who wants to use the strip to support their position – is rather desperately scrabbling for anything that can be reinterpreted to support its claims, in the hope that people seeing the strip after being exposed to the publication’s interpretation of it will be influenced to accept those claims.”

On that last point – shall we find out?

Below is the episode of Hard-Boiled Hitler  containing the image JVLWatch mentioned: The Orator. Did it show him punching through gas clouds, “using the Nazi phrase to justify aryan supremacy and extermination of Jews” – or did it portray him as a flatulent git?

You decide:

No anti-Semitism there – it’s simply a swastika-smashing send-up.

So JVLWatch – and all those who join it in accusing the innocent – are a gang of liars.

And the best way to teach them the error of their ways is to do exactly what they don’t want.

So, please, if you haven’t donated to the crowdfunding page before (or even if you have), please visit it and give what you can. Attempts to mislead the public in this way are nothing less than evil.

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Boris’s bizarre bridge plan stirs up troubled waters

[Image by ‘Hopeless Surfer’ on Twitter.]

Can’t he just pipe down?

It seems Boris Johnson has decided that he doesn’t like the Channel Tunnel, and we should have a bridge between the UK and France – across the world’s busiest shipping waters.

It encourages one to wonder why he suggested it – allegedly at the Anglo-French summit between Theresa May and Emmanuel Macron. The following seems persuasive:

Let’s face it, there’s no rational thinking behind it.

And the slapdowns have been hard, according to the Daily Mirror:

The UK Chamber of Shipping tweeted bluntly: “Building a huge concrete structure in the middle of the world’s busiest shipping lane might come with some challenges.”

And in a brutal slapdown, France’s finance minister Bruno Le Maire said: “All ideas merit consideration, even the most far-fetched ones.”

Asked if the Government was planning on building a bridge to France, Theresa May’s spokesman added: “I’ve not seen any plans on that.”

The Road Haulage Association wasn’t enthusiastic, either:

Meanwhile, the Road Haulage Association said a cross-Channel bridge “makes no sense” since the costs and practical implications would be huge.

Chief executive Richard Burnett said: “The Strait of Dover is the world’s busiest shipping lane carrying more than 500 ships daily, so construction would cause huge disruption to sea traffic.”

How about this one, from Twitter?

Here’s UK Shipping’s tweet:

How about this response?

Interestingly, it has been suggested that Mr Johnson was trying to distract attention from the substance of the summit:

That’s as may be, but he certainly succeeded in grabbing all the attention. And it’s a shame.

We’re letting him get away with distracting us all – with a clown routine that was worn out before he was shifted out of office as Mayor of London.


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If Tory Momentum HAD been called ‘Inertia’*, it wouldn’t be worse than Activate

British comedy hasn’t been this good since Rob Grant quit Red Dwarf.

Yes, that is a reference to an ancient science fiction institution, in keeping with the #meme** used by Activate UK – the Conservative Party’s answer to Momentum (stop laughing!). Here it is:

I know!

For a start, they were using an image from Internet pre-history to attract young people – something likely to appeal only to their target audience’s dad. Then there’s – oh, please, do I have to explain the sheer awfulness of it?

The Twitter address on the #meme is wrong, by the way – it’s @ActivateBritain now. @Activate.UK.Net was vacated and subsequently adopted by a satirist who has been having great fun with the name.

Activate has a website, where it proudly proclaims: “Activate is an independent national grassroots campaign organisation that seeks to actively engage young people in the right of centre politics, make a case for what conservatism can offer and provide a platform to enable their voices to be heard.

“We intend to reclaim the voice of young people in politics, bringing together individuals and groups in our education system, workplaces and communities. We will campaign and organise to ensure that issues that are important to them are heard, discussed and addressed.”

Fine, if you like that sort of thing. It’s just that the public turns out not to.

The first sign of trouble is on the parts of the website relating to money – membership and donations. Full member, aged 25 and over, are encouraged to spend anything between £10 and £500 – yes, really! – on their membership. This Writer has no idea how many people have signed up to that, but as a possible indicator, let’s look at the “Donations” page, where we see the most that has been offered so far is £2.06, from a person with the unlikely name “Theresa May is wildly incompetent”.

Other donors at the time of writing include “Harold Shipman”, “Jimmy Savile” and “Communism Will Win”.

So it seems the public has not taken Activate seriously…

Perhaps they have taken their cue from the Conservative Party – one glance at the “People” section of the website showed that it is not a grassroots campaign at all, but run by old-hand Tory apparatchiks. I say “showed” because that page has disappeared from the website for some strange reason – teething troubles, perhaps?

Fortunately, Twitter is there to show us what we were missing:

https://twitter.com/askforcombi/status/901913151419150336

Actually, let’s stick with Twitter, because this is where Activate has really come into its own – in parody. This is how the public sees the Tory version of Momentum:

https://twitter.com/ActivateUKNet/status/902345642881814529

https://twitter.com/ActivateUKNet/status/902347461066452992

Yes. To complete the science fiction comparison, Activate has now become the Tory equivalent of The Black Hole, attracting all comment into its self-parodying gravity well. Even this (mocking) query about tax avoidance couldn’t escape the inevitable:

https://twitter.com/J_A_Colwell/status/902596253216858112

This Writer hopes that Activate enjoys a long life on the Internet and beyond. I also enjoy a good laugh. But I fear that this may be a phenomenon without enough momentum (ha ha!) to last until the end of the week.

*I joked that the Tory version of Momentum should be called “Inertia” in a previous article.

**”Activate shared their first meme on Twitter with the hashtag “#meme”. Hashtag meme. They also – save yourself, read not on – finished the tweet with #retweet and #rt,” according to New Statesman.


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