http://youtu.be/9lkWLaZh5QU

George Osborne chose to invoke Trainspotting (or was that James Callaghan?) in his speech today, writes Alex Little in alittleecon.

I’m sure some cleverer people than me are producing audio PF Project/George Osborne mashups as we speak [he was right – see the video above], but here’s my written “alternative” list of Conservative choices (adapting the actual song lyrics):

Choose life.
Choose a zero-hours contract job.
Choose a 6 month apprenticeship paying £2.68 an hour.
Choose a family (one man and one woman united in marriage obviously),
Choose a f**king big payday loan
Choose washing machines, cars,
mp3 players, and electrical bread makers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol
and private medical insurance.
Choose help-to-buy 95% mortgage repayments.
Choose a poorly built starter home (on a brownfield site).
Choose your friends.
Choose lounge wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite from Brighthouse
in a range of f**king fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you
are on a Monday morning (with your curtains closed).
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing
spirit-crushing Jeremy Kyle shows
Stuffing f**king junk food into your mouth (we will sanction you).
Choose rotting away at the end of it all,
pishing your last in a miserable home
Nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish,
f**ked-up brats
You have spawned to increase your entitlement to benefits.
Choose your 19th Century past. Choose the Conservatives.

Follow me on Twitter: @MidWalesMike

Join the Vox Political Facebook page.

Buy Vox Political books so we can continue
bringing you the best of the blogs!
Health Warning: Government! is now available
in either print or eBook format here:

The first collection, Strong Words and Hard Times,
is still available in either print or eBook format here:

Vox Political needs your help!
If you want to support this site
(but don’t want to give your money to advertisers)
you can make a one-off donation here: