Health officials and sociologists voice concerns about the effects of tabloids on the general public| Politics and Insights

Brilliance from kittysjones:

Research has consistently shown that worryingly, reading tabloid newspapers such as the Sun, Express and Daily Mail causes contagious fatalism, addictive irritable incoherence syndrome, an anxiety-inducing pre-occupation with other people stealing tax-payers money and a highly suggestible state with rash moral panic. These symptoms usually precede the completely incapacitating open mouth of closed-mind syndrome, leading to premature, ejaculated brain death.

Sociologists have discovered that many tabloid addicts have nasty and brazen neighbours, usually from other countries, or with fake disabilities. Some poor and rightously outraged readers have lazy single mothers, suspect-looking students, suspected immigrants or daring unemployed scrounger types living right next door or just down the street. This is usually preceded by a malignant disdain.

Health officials carried out research over many years, which revealed that during the early stages of chronic tabloiditis, acute, screaming headlines bind to the victims’ brain dopamine receptors, releasing a surge of bile and some unidentifiable, free-floating bitter stuff. This has the unfortunate effect of oxidising the part of the brain ordinarily used to rationalise and the nubbin in the noggin that usually facilitates discernment. The deadly process also affects the vocal chords, leaving the poor patient with an over-developed sense of indignance, hatred and a hyperactive moral outrage. There is no cure.

The most alarming health surveys have revealed that the process involves rapid shrinkage and withering of the gland that regulates reality – the part that scientists call the “getagrippe.”

Source: Politics and Insights | Politics and Insights

3 thoughts on “Health officials and sociologists voice concerns about the effects of tabloids on the general public| Politics and Insights

  1. Maria

    I read the daily Mail, but I don’t think like that, I spend some of my time writing comments against the downright appalling and untrue stories the Mail puts out. Not everyone who reads the Mail agrees with them about people who are in poverty and have fallen on hard times. Plus you get all the news on there what the government will do next, because you know the Mail will always gloat about it. On another note, looking at the TV guide channel five are having a benefits night one night next week forget which. four programmes back to back. I used to like watching channel five, but not any more; not for a long time.

  2. Edward E. Smith Ph.D

    The Daily Mail: a good paper to wipe your backside on if you’re not fussy about how dirty it is afterwiards

    1. Tony Dean

      The Daily Mail and Paul Dacre are the two main reasons Leveson should have been implemented without delay. That will never happen under a Conservative government.

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