This is a piece of brilliance. Do I really have to explain that it is satirical?
The plaudits for Britain’s Prime Minister are quite correct, of course – Cameron’s speech today was without equal. It was a bold vision for a Britain, gilt in his personal image.
While I have very little interest in politics as a rule, I could not fail to be stirred by Cameron’s bold intentions to “to stand up to the powerless – to speak up for injustice, and inequality”. What’s more, Cameron’s choice of tie was superb. His comb-over never looked less ruffled.
Who could be left cold by PM Cameron’s economic vision for the Northern Powerhouse? Invention and fabrication are among the few growth industries in Britain – and Cameron is right to set a sterling example on this, and invest significant time and resources in inventing and fabricating things.
Poverty should indeed undergo an all out assault – with sanctions aplenty. Those who are set to be liberated from the burden of financial support, and freed from the indignity of not having to depend upon foodbanks to feed their families, can simply follow Mr Cameron’s sterling example in life – and top up their savings with trust funds, stock options, donations from the City; or – in a pinch – simply inherit their way into wealth.
Furthermore, Cameron is quite right to help people break the cycle of dependency upon benefits, by leaving them penniless. If we simply redefine poverty, until it no longer includes anybody at all, then the government will go down as a historical first. Nothing could be more egalitarian than his belief that poverty and neglect should apply to the whole of the UK – not just isolated regions. For if you make everyone poor then nobody will ever notice. “If you’re working and still struggling, the problem is that you’re just not poor enough. Let us help you with that”, he might explain.
I have omitted the best part of this article – so you’re going to have to visit the original to find out what it is, to which I refer.
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