The satirists are at work – already asking: is this how MPs will spend their £2558 pay rise?

This site has already reported on the planned rise and the spurious reasons for it.

Now Normal Island has suggested ways in which particular MPs will spend it:

David Lammy said he is going to buy himself a spine, Liz Kendall plans to add to her collection of human skulls, Jess Phillips is going to buy herself several hundred t-shirts that say “I love Jess Phillips”, Pat McFadden is going to buy himself a cloak so he can venture into sunlight without catching fire, and Rachel Reeves [pictured] is going to buy another one of those wigs that look like a helmet and are so heat resistant, they can survive re-entry to earth. Most other MPs I spoke to said they would probably spend their money on cocaine and prostitutes. I don’t know about you, but I appreciate honesty in a politician.

The satirical site also commented on the latest watering-down of safeguards in the government’s Assisted Dying Bill, linking them with the current attack on disabled people with a point that I think may be devastatingly true:

The government is tirelessly watering down safeguards for assisted dying and is keen to let people with mental health conditions be pressured, I mean helped into topping themselves. Given that “mental health condition” is normally a euphemism for “poor and can see no way out”, you now all have a way out!

It continues:

High Court judges are to be removed from the euthanasia approval process to avoid the risk of them saying no. We wouldn’t want anyone with a conscience getting in the way of our austerity measures, would we? The only opinion that matters is that of the vulnerable person who is being pressured into no longer being a burden.

When the Tories were in charge of the country, we culled the poor and disabled against their will. This way, we will cull the poor and disabled with their consent, sort of, because we are progressive now… Have you noticed how our idea of progressive always involves killing people, rather than helping them? This is because helping ordinary people to live is not cost effective.

Ask Rachel Reeves about that last line and she would probably agree with it.

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