The facts behind Theresa May’s comedy Cabinet reshuffle
It’s “New Year, new disaster” for Theresa May.
She announced her Cabinet reshuffle, claiming that it would refresh, revitalise and diversify the minority Conservative government.
It has achieved none of those ends.
Rather, it has turned Mrs May into a worse laughing stock than ever.
It did clarify certain aspects of her leadership, though:
Cabinet #reshuffle proving one thing:
Theresa May has no idea what she wants to do with power but will do anything she can to keep hold of it.— Dr Rosena Allin-Khan (@DrRosena) January 8, 2018
Overall, the general consensus is this:
https://twitter.com/hijakejohnstone/status/950412965433479169
Why did nothing change (or at least, nothing worth mentioning)? Simple – Mrs May was too weak to push through the changes she wanted.
The #cabinetreshuffle in a single gif! #weakandwobbly pic.twitter.com/4BjPpeOLWz
— Owain Gardner 🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@DrOwainGardner) January 8, 2018
We all knew that the holders of the top jobs – and Sajid Javid – were keeping those jobs.
So no change in #cabinetreshuffle at Home, Foreign, Treasury, DHCLG or Health. No change in #TobyYoung decision. May is weak…… pic.twitter.com/0i7pS8zAR3
— Parliament View (@parliamentview) January 8, 2018
About the only power formally reserved to the PM under the British constitution is the right to hire & fire ministers. But May will now, at the very least, have a chancellor, foreign, health, business & transport secretary she’d rather have in other jobs.
— Tom Clark (@prospect_clark) January 8, 2018
We’ll mention health, business and transport shortly, but let’s just remind ourselves of the records of the people holding the other roles:
Philip Hammond, who remains as Chancellor of the Exchequer, recently blamed a downturn in productivity in the UK economy on people with disabilities. He also recently claimed that there are no unemployed people.
Amber Rudd has kept her job as Home Secretary, where she has worked hard to build a reputation for unlawfully detaining some asylum-seekers, and unlawfully deporting others. Some would suggest that in this area alone, she has broken the law so many times, she should be in one of her own prisons – except there probably isn’t any room for her.
Boris Johnson is still Foreign Secretary, in defiance of reason. This Writer could mention his use of the terms “piccaninnies” and “watermelon smiles”, his offensive quotation of Kipling in Myanmar, the Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe affair, and many more national humiliations. He is a one-man political disaster area.
So no change there then. #cabinetreshuffle pic.twitter.com/yl92H5ulua
— Brandy Snap 🇺🇦 (@Brandy_Snap) January 8, 2018
Quite right too. If a man can’t be rewarded for endangering a British subject in an Iranian prison, joking about people dying in Libya, constantly undermining his Prime Minister and leading the country over a cliff then there’s no justice. https://t.co/WElq7Z1UIf
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) January 8, 2018
Sajid Javid continues as Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, only with “Housing” added to his title – to emphasize the stress being placed on that aspect of his brief at this time. It is likely that he is also keeping his job partly as a reward for following Mrs May’s lead on homelessness, in defiance of the UK Statistics Agency. He repeated Mrs May’s lie that the Conservatives have cut homelessness by 50 per cent after it peaked under Labour. In fact, Labour cut homelessness drastically but it has been increasing steadily since 2010 due to Conservative policies. Mr Javid was previously infamous for granting licences to export weapons to Saudi Arabia, despite allegations that they were being used to commit war crimes.
Patrick Blower on Theresa May’s reshuffle – political cartoon gallery in Putney pic.twitter.com/SfA8lvazLo
— Political Cartoon (@Cartoon4sale) January 8, 2018
As for the others, well…
https://twitter.com/CaptainJimDandy/status/950484214641721345
But the reshuffle was in trouble before it even got under way.
Believe it or not, Monday, January 8 – the day Mrs May had chosen to make her big changes – was the day the Conservative Party website went down:
But don’t worry folk! We’re all safe!
Tory website goes down on cabinet reshuffle day due to lapsed security settings.. #CabinetofChaos https://t.co/mTg1VbUj5U— MagsNews (@MagsNews) January 8, 2018
What a gang of clowns.
But worse was to follow.
The Conservative Twitter account published the following:
This was just tweeted by the Tories… but swiftly deleted. Is Chris Graying the new Tory chariman or not???? pic.twitter.com/y3taAhDIl7
— Natasha Clark (@NatashaC) January 8, 2018
He was not. Or at least, he might have been – for 27 seconds.
Quick reminder: There is no question to which 'Chris Grayling' is the answer.
— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) January 8, 2018
Just so. Yet he remains Transport Secretary, despite being completely unsuited to – let’s be honest – any ministerial work at all. Cue the hilarity:
https://twitter.com/simpson_anton/status/950346577473830912
Chris Grayling's accidental 30 second 'appointment' as Tory Party chairman speaks volumes as to the state of the @Conservatives.
They can't even get a pointless cabinet #reshuffle right, and yet expect to continue governing the country? #ToriesOut2018— James Blake 🌹💙😷 (@BlakeKM) January 8, 2018
Chris Grayling is now the Lady Jane Grey of politics, except her reign actually lasted days, not minutes.
— Isabel Hardman (@IsabelHardman) January 8, 2018
Lady Jane Grayling?
We're just sitting back and watching the absolute farce that is the Conservative Party trying to use social media.
They Tories literally tweeted that Chris Grayling was the new Party Chairman with a meme, and now it appears they got the wrong man!! Astonishing incompetence!
— Evolve Politics (@evolvepolitics) January 8, 2018
The next one is a real pearl:
Whoever did this is a legend. It's been changed back now but still…glorious. pic.twitter.com/K07cV3UWy4
— John Clarke (@JohnClarke1960) January 9, 2018
We had all been led to believe that Jeremy Hunt would be promoted from the Department of Health in Damian ‘Porno’ Green’s old job – as First Secretary and Minister for the Cabinet Office.
The first hint we had that this was not the case was this announcement:
David Lidington is now the Minister for the Cabinet Office. A reminder that he wanted to scrap the Human Rights Act and opposed gay rights #CabinetReshuffle https://t.co/5FCAW542RH pic.twitter.com/KIh1HcDdDI
— i newspaper (@theipaper) January 8, 2018
So now, instead of having a Cabinet Office minister who lies about having porn on his office computer, we have one who wants to take our rights away from us. Charming.
Did Mrs May do any better with her next appointment?
No. She made James Cleverly Vice-Chairman of the Conservative Party.
https://twitter.com/LeftySocialist/status/950383395804274688
https://twitter.com/StopTheresa_May/status/950359578436304896
Let’s bear this in mind, as it may become a running theme: Mr Cleverly doesn’t like people with long-term illnesses and/or disabilities.
And the other Vice-Chairman (note: man. This may also become a recurring theme): Here’s Ben Bradley, the voice of Tory youth:
Really pleased to have been appointed as Vice Chair of the @Conservatives and having the opportunity to work and make sure the voice of young people is heard in Government. Pleased to be working with @BrandonLewis @JamesCleverly and a great team pic.twitter.com/QmwN6dkXaS
— Cllr Ben Bradley MP (@BBradley_Mans) January 8, 2018
There’s just one problem, and here’s Rachael to explain it:
Ben Bradley 'voice of young people' 😂 pic.twitter.com/5Y4JZfjz11
— Anita (@a_nitak) January 8, 2018
According to TheyWorkForYou.com, Mr Bradley, the voice of Tory youth, voted against scrapping university tuition fees; against restoring Education Maintenance Allowance, against maintenance grants and nurses’ bursaries; against ending the public sector pay cap, and against increasing the minimum wage.
Next up is a nasty piece of work This Writer is mentioning out-of-sequence: Greg Clark remained as Business Secretary, for reasons that, I suspect, were not as they were suggested here. But it is interesting that these reasons were put forward. See for yourself:
So the quiet man dug in. Greg Clark stays as Business Secretary. NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
— Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) January 8, 2018
Senior Tory source texts: “Greg Clark was 100% meant to be moved. He must have kicked off and threatened all sorts. He's a real shit.” That’s what his colleagues think
— Tim Shipman (@ShippersUnbound) January 8, 2018
As it turns out, it seems unlikely that he had to “kick off” or “threaten” anything. But it’s interesting that members of his own party hold Mr Clark in such high regard.
And the lack of movement allows me to show you this tweet, which is again out of sequence but makes another important point:
How will Theresa may be able to conduct another shuffle, if the shufflees know refusal is an option?
— Tom Clark (@prospect_clark) January 8, 2018
So now we know that Mrs May was powerless to move some MPs as she wished. I would suggest that this is because she heads a minority government – her party has no majority in the House of Commons so she needs to rely on every single Conservative MP and cannot afford to upset any of them. The slightest rebellion could end her government – and after the mess she has made of her ministry – it is unlikely the Tories would take office again for many years, if ever.
One person who was happy to be moved was David Gauke, who leapt from the Department for Work and Pensions to replace Mr Lidington as Justice Secretary. Mr Gauke, let’s remember, worked tirelessly to ensure nothing was done to stop tax avoidance while he was Chief Secretary to the Treasury. Since moving to the DWP, he has worked tirelessly to ensure the introduction of Universal Credit is as painful as possible for benefit claimants.
Shadow Justice Secretary Richard Burgon was utterly nonplussed:
Gove, Truss, Lidington and now Gauke. Already the fourth Secretary of State for Justice I've faced. It's almost as if the Prime Minister views this crucial role for our justice system as being just about making up the Cabinet numbers. https://t.co/w9utwjemfi
— Richard Burgon MP (@RichardBurgon) January 8, 2018
David Gauke has spent most of the past year defending the Tories' cruel and callous Universal Credit plan and refusing to fix it when it was clear just how much it would hurt those affected. Very worrying for those who hope government's legal aid review will help most vulnerable.
— Richard Burgon MP (@RichardBurgon) January 8, 2018
Next up:
Confirmed: Damian Hinds is the new Education Secretary. https://t.co/k5W3tSO8mt
— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) January 8, 2018
But Justine Greening was Education Secretary! What happened to her?
We’ll come to that.
In the meantime, let’s note that Mr Hinds not only supported tuition fees, but voted to increase them to £9,000. He doesn’t like maintenance grants for students. And he loves academies and ‘free’ schools that are free of local authority control.
As a resident of Wales, I should mention:
Honoured and delighted to have been reappointed as Secretary of State for Wales @UKGovWales @WalesPolitics
— Alun Cairns MP (@AlunCairns) January 8, 2018
And what a representative he is. Mr Cairns has consistently voted to cut funds for local councils, against more powers for those authorities, and against transferring powers to the National Assembly for Wales.
How about a mention for the new Tory Vice-Chair with responsibility for women – Maria Caulfield, who thinks women should not be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies?
This is a slap in the face to women. @theresa_may and her Tory government will never stand up for women. https://t.co/1bNwy2oh9i
— Rhea Wolfson (@rheawolfson) January 8, 2018
The appointment of Ms Caulfield stirred the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) to register its disgust publicly:
We are incredibly disappointed to hear that Maria Caulfield MP, who supports the criminalisation of women who end their own pregnancies, is the new CCHQ Vice Chair for Women.
— BPAS (@BPAS1968) January 8, 2018
Former Tory Chairman Patrick McLaughlin was on his way out the door before the reshuffle got started; he seems to have been asked to take responsibility for the Tories’ disastrous election result. This left a vacancy that was filled by Brandon Lewis. But, oh dear:
Former housing Minister, new Tory Party Chair, and landlord Brandon Lewis, warned against strengthening safety regulations to include sprinklers to properties, he said it would put off house builders. #Grenfell #cabinetreshuffle
— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) January 8, 2018
And, oh dear:
The new Chair of the @Conservatives is former housing minister @BrandonLewis and he is a landlord that voted against making rented homes that are 'fit for human habitation'. #cabinetreshuffle
— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) January 8, 2018
And, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear:
I found some information on Brandon Lewis – thanks to @Rachael_Swindon
#cabinetreshuffle pic.twitter.com/Cz30MD85Fi— Nadeem Ahmed (@Muqadaam) January 8, 2018
And – oh, my word!
Not everyone will have seen this video of the new Tory Party Chair @BrandonLewis being a scripted apologist for the system that failed the residents of #Grenfell. Today, he got his promotion as a thank you. pic.twitter.com/BrLF3oGiFZ
— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) January 8, 2018
Now we’re getting to the meat. Remember Greg Clark, who wouldn’t move from Business? Jeremy Hunt was tipped to be offered that brief, with Anne Milton replacing him (because of her prior experience as a nurse and a junior minister for public health, and absolutely not because she’s married to a bigwig in a private health company – and if you believe that, I’ll tell you another).
#cabinetreshuffle Since we're considering Anne Milton because of her nursing experience, it's a shame Harold Shipman's not available to be Health Sec. He had decades pf experience as a GP & was as good at killing old people as Jeremy Hunt. #NHSCrisis #NHSWinterCrisis
— Colleen Hawkins (@Lady_Colleen) January 8, 2018
But Ms Milton got into trouble early on Monday, when it was revealed that someone in the Houses of Parliament had altered her Wikipedia entry to hide her inconvenient marital association. So what was happening with Mr Hunt?
Breaking: the reshuffle's big shock – Jeremy Hunt refused a move to BEIS to insist he stay on as Health Sec with a beefed up brief of social care too. https://t.co/9zrScUDg19
— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) January 8, 2018
That’s right – he wouldn’t go anywhere. Remember what This Writer suggested about a prime minister with a minority government having to keep her MPs sweet?
https://twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/950413725328134145
"The minister has offered his promotion and the Prime Minister has accepted it."
— Andy Shaw (@RedAndy54) January 8, 2018
… or to put it another way, the "big shock" was that Theresa May is not in charge of appointing her own cabinet. Murdoch favourite Hunt gets to choose his own job…
— Paul Mason (@paulmasonnews) January 8, 2018
Her comes another pearl, though – the extra job that Mr Hunt requested was his already:
Did Theresa May not even realise social care was already supposed to be a responsibility of the Health Secretary? I wonder how much it will cost to change all the logos & stationary?! What a shambles of a botched reshuffle
— Jonathan Ashworth (@JonAshworth) January 8, 2018
What a bunch of clowns.
In Mr Hunt’s case, all the more so because his first act after his promotion was to ‘like’ a tweet mentioning the removal from the government of one of his colleagues:
Can’t run the NHS and can’t press the right buttons on Twitter. Is there anything you can do @Jeremy_Hunt ?
— Bill Esterson (@Bill_Esterson) January 8, 2018
Which one? This one:
Justine Greening quits – a PM with a slim majority has created another backbench enemy.
— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) January 8, 2018
And Mrs May can’t afford to make enemies in her own party. This could backfire on her, badly. And there’s another aspect to this – sexism:
Tory MP after Greening news: “damaging loss… PM caves into boys but not a woman. Dreadful error”
— Faisal Islam (@faisalislam) January 8, 2018
Mrs May seems to have a blind spot where it comes to people of her own gender. She was extremely reluctant to act on the allegations of sexual harassment against members of her party, and former members of the Cabinet, if you remember.
And then there’s Mrs May’s apparent lack of good character judgement:
A Conservative Party which can find a role for Toby Young but not for Justine Greening is one that can be beaten
— Jonathan Reynolds (@jreynoldsMP) January 8, 2018
At the time, Mr Young was still at the Office for Students, having been defended to the hilt by Tories in a Parliamentary debate. Commentators drew the obvious conclusions.
Justine Greening is a Tory who votes for Tory policies. But this is a party which sidelines a gay woman while finding a place for Toby Young, someone who spews misogyny and homophobia and jokes about masturbating over starving African children. All you ever need to know.
— Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) January 8, 2018
Just out of interest, where do you think Mrs May wanted to send Ms Greening?
Greening was "offered DWP, but declined to take it" according to Govt source. Says PM respects her decision but disappointed
— Anushka Asthana (@AnushkaAsthana) January 8, 2018
That revelation prompted entirely appropriate humour:
https://twitter.com/BootstrapCook/status/950436770105233408
It’s official. The Tories have made such a mess of this country’s social security system that not even their own want to touch it. https://t.co/qLwNydxke7
— Frances Ryan (@DrFrancesRyan) January 8, 2018
But this left a hole in the Cabinet. David Gauke had gone to Justice, and Ms Greening had simply gone. Who would get what was fast becoming the poisoned chalice of the Cabinet – Work and Pensions?
They're playing pass the #dwpdeaths parcel, no one wants to be left holding it.
— Paul Farnhill 🇵🇸☮️🏳️🌈🌍 (@RevPaulCA) January 8, 2018
A little bit surprised that Theresa May hasn't asked Iain Duncan Smith to come back in his role as Minister for Population Control. Always time though. #CabinetOfChaos
— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) January 8, 2018
She didn’t have to. In the end, it turns out she chose somebody just as bad; Iain Duncan Smith’s lieutenant in the Coalition Government of 2010-2015:
It's taken nearly nine hours but May has just appointed her first new woman Cabinet minister of the day. No.10: The Queen has been pleased to approve the appointment of the Rt Hon Esther McVey as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions.
— Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) January 8, 2018
You can read more – a lot more – about the woman we call Fester McVile in my article about her.
And there was another notable sacking: Mark Garnier, the minister who ordered his secretary to buy sex toys in Soho, has been dismissed from his role as international trade minister.
The latest Tory to walk is the Minister for Ann Summers @Mark4WyreForest – a nation mourns his departure.
— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) January 9, 2018
Some wits in the commentariat have been saying he was sacked, rather than being allowed to “fall on his dildo”.
But what’s the final result? Did Mrs May manage to refresh, revitalise and diversify her Cabinet?
Well… No.
All she did was move a few ministers around and swap one female minister for another.
The vast majority of the cabinet remain white males, and most of them are from constituencies in southeast England. Their average age remains above 50. The proportion who had a private education has increased, as has the proportion who attended Oxford or Cambridge – up to more than half of the Cabinet.
So we are left with a government that – more than ever – represents a tiny minority of the country, and rules in favour of that minority.
May's #CabinetReshuffle was billed as being about providing fresh faces within cabinet..
Yesterday, 73% of cabinet ministers were male. Today: 74%
Yesterday, 27% were privately educated. Today: 35%
Yesterday, 43% had a South East constituency. Today: 46% pic.twitter.com/2XmXU4DPB2
— Ashley Kirk (@Ashley_J_Kirk) January 9, 2018
Ah, but she must have improved the representation of women, right? After all, that’s what Downing Street claimed. Here’s Michael Crick to explain the sleight-of-hand behind that announcement:
Downing Street boasts "there are now more women attending Cabinet", but several of those "attending" are just middle ranking ministers, not full
Cabinet members. So there's likely to be a serious pay disparity between the men who attend Cabinet, and the women.— Michael Crick (@MichaelLCrick) January 9, 2018
Yes indeed. It turns out that 10 women now attend Cabinet meetings – but four are not Cabinet ministers. So much for equality.
Nothing has changed? Well, nothing worth mentioning.
So what’s the final verdict? See for yourself:
May was right: she needed to get a new mandate to govern through Brexit. But she didn’t, and now we’re seeing she can’t
— Tom Clark (@prospect_clark) January 8, 2018
https://twitter.com/ToryFibs/status/950482154806538241
Senior Tory MP says 'this resfhuffle is embarrassing- far from asserting her authority …its just highlighted how weak the PM is'
— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) January 8, 2018
https://twitter.com/James4Labour/status/950461388861865984
Can’t help thinking today makes it less likely that May goes this distance to the next election. Half the cabinet now thinks they’re more powerful than her
— Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) January 8, 2018
Just as well she's not overseeing the most important negotiations of the last 50 years.
— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) January 8, 2018
Is that it?
— Nicholas Soames (@NSoames) January 8, 2018
No:
The news you’ve all been waiting for#CabinetReshuffle pic.twitter.com/DZI2djJm3w
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 8, 2018
Theresa asked me to be Deputy Prime Minister, but I wasn’t prepared to accept the demotion… #cabinetreshuffle https://t.co/ui8TtPiVLc
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 8, 2018
So now you know.
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If it were not so tragic for the whole country it would surpass any ludicrous farce that Brian Rix could produce.
The clown picture great choice really captures the state of these clown Cons…a great advert for never voting them into office ever again..