Truss’s latest twittery encapsulated: The Week In Tory
Shock: Liz Truss reads what’s being written about her (no, not really).
The guy who writes this – Russ Jones – has a book coming out, The Decade in Tory. It’s thick – but so are the Tories. Bound to be a good read.
Here’s his latest thread:
2. Having performed 4 cowardly U-turns during her own endless leadership campaign, Truss now seems to now think was is the key to her success
3. So she unthinkingly announced she’d be accompanying the new (yet also very old) King on his tour of Britain
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
7. She lovingly told us tax cuts worth 1800x more for the richest 5% than the poorest 5% were "entirely fair"
8. And in a sign she was ending the grotesque expenditure of Boris Johnson, in her last year at the Home Office she increased dept spending by 45% on items including:
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
13. £1,800 on a “wellness” app
14. £4,000 at a top hairdresser (who presumably also does the Thatcher doll at Tussauds )
15. £10,000 at Fortnum and Mason
16. And a £900 adult colouring book, cos we’re now governed by people who don’t read books, merely apply crayons
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
19. In a further effort to wipe from our minds the endless squalor and scandal of the Johnson years, her new Chief of Staff features in an FBI bribery investigation, is employed by a lobbying firm and only “seconded” to Number 10, and seems to be using tax-avoiding measures
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
22. Simon Clarke, a mouse-fart made flesh and shoved into a beige suit, explained the reason the Tories had been complete dogshit for 12 years is that they “haven’t had a clear run” and it had been “crisis after crisis”
23. He voted for all those crises
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
26. The richest gain most from cutting NI. The poorest gain just 63p. Poverty averted!
27. While Clarke's smooth brain was busy de-fragging, he told viewers the govt was “unapologetically pro-growth”, and then along came Kwazi Kwarteng to shrink the economy by 3% in 3 hours
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
29. Philp said “markets will see that the government has a credible and responsible economic plan”
30. The markets nodded sagely, and then immediately crashed
31. So the govt said it refused to comment on the market, which is a shock to point 29
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
34. Kwarteng might be new to some of you, so an intro: he is the former minister for Brexit, then of Business, Energy and Growth.
35. All those things are going just swimmingly, so he’s now been made Chancellor, just in time to hit his devastating peak form
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
38. Kwarteng also lifted the bankers’ bonus cap
39. Every one of those hedge-funds made millions, and their resulting huge bonuses won’t be taxed
40. Insider trading also carries unlimited fines. Just in case you were wondering
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
43. After Kwarteng did his fiscal event all over our carpet, the pound plunged to the lowest level against the dollar that it has ever been since Alexander Hamilton stopped rapping long enough to invent it in 1776
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
47. “It’s a shit show”
48. “Everyone who isn’t mad hates it”
49. “There’s a 10-15% chance it’s genius. There’s a 70-80% chance it’s a disaster”
50. “It's economically reckless and political suicide”
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
53. “They are already putting letters in as they think she will crash the economy”
54. “It’s the kind of thing that's usually tried in Latin American countries without success”
55.These are her friends, by the way.
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
58. Work and Pensions minister Chloe Smith escaped from the set of Rings of Power long enough to defend a £55,000 tax cut for millionaires while the £20 Universal Credit uplift is ended
59. Maths fans will be excited to learn £55,000 is 52 years of £20 Universal Credit uplift
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
62. Not solve them, you’ll notice: just stop them from happening – but she didn’t tell them how or give them any more resources
63. Then she unveiled her not-medically-proven theory that the best antidote to work-related stress is: do more work and relax in front of the TV less
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
65. Once her aggressive battle against punctuation choices was out of the way Coffey – part of a govt that inherited an NHS guaranteeing 48 waiting time for GP appointments – promised a grateful public they wouldn’t wait longer than 336 hours
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
67. In a sure sign Brexit is going well, the “Brexit bonus” for farmers was scrapped
68. And having howled madly against immigration for years, the govt signalled it plans to allow loads more immigrants
69. And the role of Minister for Brexit Opportunity was abolished
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
72. In the face of catastrophic climate disaster Mogg said we “must get every cubic inch of gas out of the North Sea”
73. He then he lifted the ban on fracking after claiming said opposition to fracking was being funded by Putin
74. He is funded by fossil-fuel investors
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
77. And in case you thought it was over, Boris Johnson, London’s very own Witless Dickington, is still here, first telling startled MPs about the great leadership of Vladimir Putin, then reportedly sending Hugo Swire to the House of Lords to annoy David Cameron “for a laugh”
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
81. And – tragically – we lost Nadine Dorries, a beef-witted, one-woman riot of idiocy, who vanished from Twitter without warning. Please don’t send flowers: she worries they’d outsmart her pic.twitter.com/ODZTJtObl0
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) September 26, 2022
I’m taking notes of his descriptions of these Tory MP buffoons…
Has he missed anything?
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Best longest read article in ages. Whoever he is, he has systematically identified and destroyed this new band of brothers.