Damian Green: here he demonstrates his technique for ensuring he didn’t swallow any sewage while swimming in it. Possibly.

Former Cabinet minister Damian Green has tried to justify all the sewage the water companies – privatised by Tories in the 1980s, remember – have been dumping in our rivers by saying he used to swim in it when he was a child:

Did he really?

I remember being warned not to swim in rivers as a child (I’m 13 years younger than Green), because of pollution. Maybe it had become worse in the intervening decade or so, but I still find his confession that he swam in other people’s excrement utterly remarkable – and revolting.

It has attracted exactly the kind of response one should expect:

Yes indeed – although we should remember that he was sacked from his Cabinet position for having filth of a different kind on his Parliamentary laptop (computer).

My personal opinion was that, having swum in … that as a boy, it explains why Green wanted to be a Tory politician in later life; he enjoyed the experience so much, he wanted to repeat it on a long-term basis.

And it has spawned a new strand of satire:

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