“Sit forward attentively at all times and smile benignly”: It seems Alex Jones (left) and Matt Baker (right) have read the memo, whether it is satirical or not.

This is very amusing, from Kevin Mckenna in The National:

In view of what’s at stake in this election I’ve drawn up a list of suggestions on how we can subtly tweak the public consciousness to ensure that they don’t do anything silly.

1. When interviewing Theresa May sit forward attentively at all times and smile benignly. Tory Central Office have informed us that she is more likely to open up if she doesn’t feel threatened. On no account make any mention of the alleged electoral fraud involving a couple of dozen Tory MPs at the last election. And if you really must make mention of the tiresome subject of food banks then it’s best simply to accept Theresa’s sage observation that the reasons why there are so many these days are ‘complicated’ … which, of course, they are.

2. When interviewing Corbyn it’s vital to bear in mind that he is the upstart pretender and thus deserving of more intense scrutiny. Mention his Irish Republican paramilitary past when he embarked on a one-year long hunger strike in sympathy with the H-Block prisoners throughout 1981. The authenticity of those pictures of assorted Tory MPs with Martin McGuinness and Gerry Adams has yet to be verified but they look suspiciously like they have been doctored by Corbyn’s media lieutenant Seamus Milne who, as everyone knows, fought for Pol Pot’s forces in Cambodia.

It is satire, of course.

But the best humour – like the best lies – contains an element of truth. Don’t you agree?

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