The Tory riders of the apocalypse may soon be complete

Nearly right: The Canary‘s satirical ‘Off the Perch’ column used Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson to stand in for War, and Environment Secretary Michael Gove for Pestilence – but the Tories have created their own posts that, while not quite equivalent, are appropriate.

We may laugh because it’s funny – but we should weep, because it’s true.

Conservative government policies have necessitated the appointment of:

A Minister for Loneliness.

A Minister for Suicide (prevention).

And now we have calls for a Minister for Hunger.

Put them together with Iain Duncan Smith, who will always be the Minister for Death after his time as Work and Pensions Secretary, and the Conservatives have their very own riders of the Apocalypse.

We can’t call them “horsemen” because at least half of them are going to be women.

And, okay, Homelessness and Suicide have replaced War and Pestilence – and suicide is a kind of death.

But the imagery is exactly right.

And the Tory government has been apocalyptic, for thousands upon thousands of people.

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1 thought on “The Tory riders of the apocalypse may soon be complete

  1. groovmistress

    When I ask the question “But do we really need these Ministers?” it’s not to deny that these issues are very real and most definitely need to be tackled with urgency. Just to say that surely they should already be under the remit of the myriad of existing ministers. Dividing these social issues up into separate compartments is to my mind overly bureaucratic and counter-productive and merely removes them further from the blatantly obvious overall cause – Tory policy.
    Have we not already reached saturation point with all the various ministers each vying against each other with the treasury for their own “cause”? Splitting each into more divisions is not really going to help is it?
    Perhaps TM thinks that making everyone in the class a prefect is all she needs to do as headmistress.

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