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US President Donald Trump has been in the United Kingdom on a historic second state visit. Has it lifted the national mood? Let’s hear from our special commentator, Mr Jive Clames:

If one were to compose a scene of ceremonial splendour, one might be tempted to set it in the Louvre, the Met, or perhaps a particularly ambitious wedding planner’s fever dream. Instead, the United Kingdom offered Windsor Castle — a stone stage for the second state visit of United States President Donald Trump.

The pomp was plentiful, the carriages ornate, the flypasts only partially grounded by drizzle, and the military lines longer than a supermarket queue in Soviet Moscow.

King Charles, seemingly enjoying the thrill of meeting a foreign leader who comes from his beloved Scotland, greeted The Donald with all the warmth of a man who knows tradition is heavy – and his guest might throw it all away at any moment and declare himself “King of Windsor.”

First Lady Melania, Tiffany-adorned and calm, was pressed into service alongside that picture of poise the Princess of Wales, exchanging smiles and gifts with the kind of precision usually reserved for drone strikes.

Trump took to the occasion with an enthusiasm undimmed by the Royal advice to beware of ceremonial swords. He admired St George’s Chapel, saying, “What a place, what a place”. The King confirmed that it was indeed a place.

Pausing over historic documents long enough to establish that he can’t read Old English, The Donald saved face by sprinkling in praise for The King as if auditioning for the role of Royal Master of Ceremonies. Or should that be Court Jester?

But behind the filtered smiles and ceremonial parades, the UK’s facade of calm ceremony has been hiding a boiling pot surrounded by politicians straining to keep the lid on.

Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer was supposed to orchestrate the grand finale, juggling the state visit, plans for his first in-government party conference, and the kind of domestic crises that would have turned him grey – if he wasn’t grey already.

Lord Peter Mandelson had been dispatched in ignominy after his own historic documents – letters to the late paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein – surfaced just days before this visit by another friend of Epstein. The King’s own brother was also – embarrassingly – connected with that person, so perhaps we can be reassured that this was one subject that was not raised in casual conversation at the ceremonial banquet.

Angela Rayner had resigned over a £40,000 stamp duty ‘miscalculation’, and Paul Ovenden’s intimate digital ‘missteps’ only added to the perception that Downing Street has been conducting business with the same discipline as a drunk on roller skates, herding wild cats.

Witnessing Trump’s parade of pomp and ceremony – coupled with a US technological investment worth £31 billion to … someone – may have been like enjoying a glass of Chateau Margaux while the kitchen explodes in the background.

Starmer’s government, meanwhile, was left to hope that no one noticed the cracks widening inside Windsor’s walls — although four audacious souls did project the Trump-Epstein connection onto the outside of those same walls, perhaps as a subtle reminder , in politics as in royal protocol, optics are everything.

Windsor delivered its spectacle. Trump was duly flattered, the Royals smiled, the media cheered, and Starmer’s government survived for a day or two.

Pageantry can mask fragility, but only until the next crisis rings the bell. And in Westminster, the crises aren’t just lining up – they’re forming a conga.

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