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Theresa May: Like a zombie flamingo.

Theresa May popped her head around the door of 10 Downing Street, followed it to a podium that had been put up in the middle of the road, said, “La-di-dah, fol-de-rol, and fol-de-riddle-hi-ho,” or words to that effect, and stalked back into the warm like a zombie flamingo.

She had been presenting a political declaration on the post-Brexit relationship of the UK with the EU. Shortly afterwards, she gave a similar nonsense performance in the House of Commons. Here’s why it was nonsense:

For those who can’t read images, it says: “The future relationship will be based on a balance of rights and obligations, taking into account the principles of each Party. This balance must ensure the autonomy of the Union’s decision making and be consistent with the Union’s principles, in particular with respect to the integrity of the Single Market and the Customs Union and the indivisibility of the four freedoms. It must also ensure the sovereignty of the United Kingdom and the protection of its internal market, while respecting the result of the 2016 referendum including with regard to the development of its independent trade policy and the ending of free movement of people between the Union and the United Kingdom.”

Then Jeremy Corbyn said this:

This clip goes over much of the same ground but includes a little more as well:

Political commentators confirmed that Mr Corbyn’s claim of a “blind Brexit” could be considered an accurate appraisal of the situation:

And some pointed out that Mrs May seemed to be trying to blind us all with her answers to MPs’ questions:

Some may have taken a jaundiced approach to the whole process – and who can blame them?

But it was the Parliamentarians – on both sides of the Commons – who got really festive with Mrs May’s pathetic bundle of paper. It seems, for them, Christmas had come early and she had given them the best possible present: a chance to rip the last vestiges of credibility away from her. Here’s Barry Gardiner:

Richard Burgon:

Keir Starmer:

Marsha de Cordova:

Labour’s whips’ office made clear that party’s position on the matter:

Mrs May fared no better with her own party. Here’s Boris Johnson:

Iain Duncan Smith appealed for Mrs May to give some ground – but his words fell on deaf ears…

… and quite rightly, too; just desserts for all the times benefit claimants got the cold shoulder from the Department for Work and Pensions when he was in charge of it:

In fact, it was the Parliamentary equivalent of a dogpile, with members of all parties leaping to the attack:

The strength of the response shows that Parliament – indeed, the whole of the United Kingdom – is for once almost entirely united in its exasperation at the ineptitude of Mrs May and her Tory team, who started out by talking big but then turned up two years later with very little indeed.

Their – and our – loss of patience with the process may be easily understood by reading the Twitter thread below, which quotes (with little or no commentary) some of the promises that the Tories made to us over the last two years:

Even Tom Bradby on ITV news is asking “How do we get out of this hole?”

The admission that it is a hole, and the entire country is in it, is a crucifying indictment of Theresa May and the government she has fronted (you can’t call it leadership) for the last two tragic years.

The fact that Mrs May is still happy to rub our noses in her failure, after two years of bringing back nothing from her team’s talks with the EU, is a testament to the arrogance of the woman.

And to her ignorance.

A more perceptive prime minister would have realised that her time is up and, having failed to bring back the booty, she is about to be marched to the block.

I don’t think we’ll have to wait even until it is really Christmas before we see the axe fall on her.

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