How others see us: Papua New Guinea shreds Johnson’s government

Incredible sulk: how Boris Johnson would probably look if he read this article from Papua New Guinea.

This humiliating summary of Boris Johnson’s government comes from Papua New Guinea, once partly a British protectorate.

What a takedown for Johnson that a country the UK used to rule is now ridiculing his rule of his own land:

For those who have trouble reading text in images, here it is:

So once more to the UK, where the court of despot Johnson is arrayed by the kind of sycophants and shills who would have made Caligula blush. And that’s just the journalists.

The UK is ‘world beating’ in that it is the first country voluntarily to impose economic sanctions on itself, and the first to suffer the labour shortages and stagnating wage growth that nobody but those who predicted it could have predicted.

Eagle Annual nostalgia has begat a reckoning with which Johnson’s poltroons are ill-equipped to deal. In recent weeks several pillaging lawmakers have been lacerated by the self-same media that only months ago turned a blind eye to the slaughter through negligence of tens of thousands. And they’re getting twitchy.

WhatsApp messages are deleted quicker than you can say “Kathryn Stone should consider her position”. Taxes of minimum wage carers that ended up as PPE contracts in the silken pockets of Savile Row suits are being laundered in the usual way: through real estate and favours further down the road.

The Tories are a superstitious tribe, but the magical incantations of ‘Oven Ready’, ‘Leave Means Leave’, and ‘Get Brexit Done’ that once made half the nation dance in ecstasy are now inducing a danse macabre, as the women of child-bearing age fire boltguns into the temples of screaming pigs and the men contemplate imminent planetary systems collapse by driving their SUVs at the new ascetics: smug [smug? Shurely shome mishtake?] pensioners who block motorways.

Everyone knows the reckoning is coming. Westminster is buzzing with the sound of shredders working overtime and Tories squabbling over scraps from the pharma, gambling, and petrochemical firms with whom they’ve spend a decade screwing their constituents.

But Boris doesn’t mind. The caste system left behind by the empire means there’s no shortage of Home Counties talent willing to lick the brogues of a proven liar. The price Britain has paid for painting two thirds of the atlas red is a ruling order so damaged that its members would rather sell their souls to a corporation before admitting that a single mother on eighty quid a week is their equal.

The “shredding” part is particularly relevant now, as demands for Lord Bethell to produce evidence of his meetings with Randox build in volume. What happened to his emails and text messages? Where are the minutes of his meetings?

Has the paperwork already been through one of those buzzing shredders?

And what punishment will Bethell face if he refuses point-blank to co-operate and cough up the juice?

Are we so corrupt – as a country – that we’re just going to let him get away with it?

No wonder we’re such a laughing stock around the world.

Have YOU donated to my crowdfunding appeal, raising funds to fight false libel claims by TV celebrities who should know better? These court cases cost a lot of money so every penny will help ensure that wealth doesn’t beat justice.

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10 thoughts on “How others see us: Papua New Guinea shreds Johnson’s government

  1. Debbie Wiles

    I love that the journalists name isn’t published on the article. I suspect the government would find a way to kick them out of the UK if they had a name. Brilliant article from a non Brit looking at us from the inside.

  2. Paul Atkin

    That’s a piece of writing worthy of Private Eye. But I missed the reference “the women of child-bearing age fire boltguns into the temples of screaming pigs” – can someone explain? Thanks.

    1. Mike Sivier Post author

      The great pig purge of 2021. Abattoirs couldn’t cope with the number of pigs coming up for slaughter (because of Brexit) so the farmers were having to kill them. Total expected number of pig deaths was 100,000. I have covered it in the past.

  3. James Cassandra

    COnsidering vk has a vast following and very active informed contribution I am sirprised it is not on the share list???

    1. Mike Sivier Post author

      I have no idea what you mean. Is vk the magazine it came from? I saw it posted by someone on Facebook.

      1. Claire Hetherington

        Hi, there seems to be a bit of mystery about the source of that delicious article from a PNG newspaper.

        A little Googling suggests there are only 2 English language newspapers in PNG: – The National, owned by a Malaysian logging company, and The Post-Courier, owned by er …. Rupert Murdoch. Never forget how swiftly he brought down Major and replaced him with a pink tory in 1997. Could this be the prelude to a very similar scenario 25 years later??

      2. Mike Sivier Post author

        Qualitatively, it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference what its origin was. The comments are all fair, and based on verifiable situations.

  4. Claire Hetherington

    I agree, it doesn’t make any difference to the value of the article, it’s funny and true. I’m not having a go at you for sharing it here Mike, but I smell a big Murdoch-shaped rat. Actually he’s already slagging off Boris & bigging up Keith in The Times, so my question about the origin of this article is probably superfluous. Anyone ready to take bets on how soon Murdoch can finagle a General Election and it’s outcome? Don’t forget 1997 ;-(

Comments are closed.