Don’t make a cuppa during the Queen’s Speech – you might miss it!

Frack Cameron: In advance of a new bill to allow fracking under private homes, Greenpeace did this to David Cameron's Chipping Norton home. Fair comment?
Frack Cameron: In advance of a new bill to allow fracking under private homes, Greenpeace did this to David Cameron’s Chipping Norton home. Fair comment?

Picture the scene if you can: Buckingham Palace. Her Majesty is seated, getting on with monarchical business. A staff member knocks and enters with an envelope from Downing Street, containing the proposed text of the Queen’s Speech, which is swiftly opened.

HM takes out a single piece of paper, scans it, turns it over (the back is blank). She speaks:

“Is this it?”

Yup. We could well be about to hear the shortest Queen’s Speech in the history of broadcasting. The evening news bulletins will probably be able to broadcast it in its entirety, instead of the usual excerpts.

Only 11 new bills are to go before Parliament. They involve:

  • Plans to change the pension system (again), split among two bills – look out, pensioners!
  • A bill to make it easier for companies to frack for gas under private property – look out, homeowners!
  • Measures to implement a promise to provide up to £2,000 worth of free childcare – probably not enough.
  • A proposed right for voters to recall their MP – to be judged by other MPs if the rumours are correct. Corruption?
  • The outlawing of “modern slavery” – except, one presumes, that enshrined in law by this government’s own Mandatory Work Activity schemes.
  • Powers to tackle lawyers and other professionals who help criminal gangs – clearly, in this world of government-aided tax evasion (for example), they are helping the wrong criminal gangs.
  • Measures to tackle the abuse of zero-hours contracts – one can’t help feeling that the Tories were shamed into this one by bad publicity.
  • Legal protection for people carrying out “good deeds” such as volunteering or planning local events, who become involved in liability claims. Can you spot the opportunities for corruption in this?
  • The curb on public sector employees claiming huge redundancy payments and then taking new jobs in the same sector, that was mentioned on this blog recently.
  • Help for pub landlords.
  • And a plan to charge 5p for plastic bags in England – copying a successful scheme in Wales. Doesn’t this government mock Wales as a failure? Why, then, is it copying Wales?

Six more bills have been carried over from the last Parliamentary session – which wasn’t exactly brimming with work either.

Considering the scale of the problems facing the UK – many of which have arisen because of Coalition government policies – it is a hopelessly inadequate programme of government.

David Cameron and Nick (who?) Clegg have claimed it shows the government is still capable of “taking bold steps”. Baby steps, more like!

Angela Eagle, Labour’s shadow leader of the House of Commons, responded: “Just because the government announced it’s a bold programme, that does not mean actually that it is.”

What do you think? Do you think the bills listed above with do anything to solve Britain’s biggest problems?

I don’t.

Follow me on Twitter: @MidWalesMike

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14 Thoughts to “Don’t make a cuppa during the Queen’s Speech – you might miss it!”

  1. Joanna

    I don’t intend watching it, I’m watching Fake Britain, then again what is the diff?

  2. Joanna

    Great so now we will have to Pay to advertise a shop or supermarket? Well Not Me!!! I have my trusty shopping trolley!

  3. Ha ha! On Black Rod’s invitation for the Commons to attend the House of Lords for the Queen’s Speech, Dennis Skinner shouted “Coalition’s last stand!”

    He’s a star.

    1. I had a damn good chuckle at that as well. Some of his quips have been quite brilliant, but that one hopefully sums up the end of the ConDems.

  4. JK

    Ah! But they are going to continue indefinitely with the “long term economic plan” which used to be called “plan A” and was supposed to reduce the deficit to zero within one five year parliament. If at first you don’t succeed five years becomes long term!

    1. Very good point. If they’re voted out next year, they won’t be able to!
      Instead, we might get someone who knows what to do.

    2. But Camoron, or was it giddiot? said that Austerity was going to last forever as a first principle. I think its was said at some swanky banquet with thrones of gold, gold cups, gold trimmed glassware, a gold lecturn, and Camoron dressed in his finest whites like some cheap imitation of army dress wear…. at least the yanks have a good looking “dresswear;” I know this to be a fact as I watched An Officer and a Gentleman, and by ending this post, in capitals followed by an exclamation mark, with FACT!

      1. Ah, it must be true then!
        You’re right about the Cameron comment but he won’t matter in a year’s time.

  5. Jim Round

    Easy now, opinion widely differs across the electorate on what the REAL problems facing Britain, are anyone like to guess what these would be?

  6. Oh I wish I could have heard and seen Dennis Skinner – that man is brilliant – always has a quip that is extremely funny but also true 😀

    1. By the marvels of modern technology, your wish is granted…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltAhrD2FCW4

  7. beastrabban

    Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
    The issue of the ‘Zombie’ government created by the breakdown of the working relationship between the Lib Dems and Tories appeared on Have I Got News For You a couple of weeks ago. Since then, it appears that both sides have been loudly denying that any such thing has ever occurred. This, however, seems to be the proof that it has, and only the most trivial policies are now being enacted. It’s time the whole government was stopped, and went to the country for a proper government to be elected, one that could actually govern.

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