MPs’ pay demand signals end of ‘Austerity Britain’

flyingpigsHappy days are here again!

I don’t know how they did it, but the ConDem Coalition government I’ve been railing against for the last year or so must have worked an economic miracle, despite all the factors stacked against them – not the least of which was their own total ineptitude.

After all, that’s the only reason they could possibly justify asking for a whopping great 32 per cent pay rise, isn’t it?

Readers with long memories may remember that, when David Cameron came into office as the new Prime Minister in 2010, one of the first things he did was order a five per cent pay cut for every single member of his government, and a pay freeze until 2015 – in other words, for the length of the current Parliament.

MPs voted against a one per cent pay rise in 2011, and last year agreed to extend the self-imposed pay freeze until 2013.

Before anyone starts praising their virtue and magnanimity, it should be pointed out that our Parliamentarians are extremely well-paid – starting salary is £65,738, running up to around £150-160,000 for the Prime Minister himself. They do quite all right, thank you very much!

But today we discover they have been telling the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority it’s time for a raise – on average, to £86,250. That’s a 32 per cent hike.

Clearly, therefore, the economic situation has changed dramatically overnight. Remember, it was only on Tuesday that more than half of them voted to give those of us on benefits what amounts to a pay cut. Obviously they’ll be scrapping that plan.

Otherwise they’d be a bunch of low-down, fetid, excremental hypocrites, right?

Note that it was the Tories who wanted the highest pay rise – to a whalloping £96,740. The Chancellor is a Tory; he’d know when the economic tide turned and that is clearly what has informed their demand. It seems the only reason possible – otherwise such a suggestion would be utterly outrageous.

The Liberal Democrats came in with a more modest £78,361 suggestion, and Labour seem to have cottoned on that change was in the air as well, weighing in with £77,322.

I note that the Prime Minister’s spokesperson, according to the BBC, said Mr Cameron believed the issue was a matter for Ipsa. He was the one who ordered the pay freeze; he’s now very relaxed about what happens. This is another clear sign that there has been an economic miracle.

I look forward to future announcements that the link between benefits and inflation has been restored; that millions of new job vacancies are being filled in the revitalised economy; that the living wage is being brought in for everyone; and that the National Health Service is to return to its former glory after the last two years of sordid tinkering with its innards. And that’s just for starters!

I think I shall also be looking forward to getting my breakfast bacon from its still-breathing owner as it flies past my bedroom window tomorrow morning, on porcine wings that are only slightly less plausible than the situation I’ve suggested in this article.

Seriously, to all MPs responsible for this travesty: Shame on you.

And to Ipsa: Don’t you dare give them a single penny. They’re nothing but a crowd of immoral, opportunist scroungers.

And we’ve all been led to believe this government does not reward scroungers.

Or was that another lie?

12 thoughts on “MPs’ pay demand signals end of ‘Austerity Britain’

  1. Silver

    I fear,their arrogance,will lead to civil disobedience on a big scale.People who are not listened to,ignored,generally make themselves heard somehow.
    History as shown us this.These Posh Boys are so detached from reality,that they live on another planet.
    In April,with the new cuts digging into peoples none finances,something will give,probably around the 6 week Summer Holidays when people,parents included,have more time on their hands.
    People who have nothing,have nothing to lose.Just ask that silly woman who said,”Let them eat cake.”

  2. Mike Sivier

    I should point out that at least one MP has come out against the proposed pay rise. Asked on Twitter if he supported it, Andy Burnham responded, “No, I don’t.”
    Cynics may debate the sincerity of that response if they wish; I would rather ask any other MPs who may be reading this to comment on whether they support the pay rise or not.
    Anyone?

  3. Ghost Whistler

    I’m speechless.

    I woke up yesterday morning thinking i’d dreamed hearing on the radio that mp’s wanted 20k extra. I thought perhaps I’d heard it on the radio late at night, or it was a dream infused by too much twitter use.

    Apparently not. These wretched turds must pinch themselves every morning not quite sure whether to believe our collective gullibility.

    I bet this gets next to no coverage on the BBC news.

  4. Pingback: An open letter to MPs « MADD Suspicions

  5. alunpowell12

    Well done. I would have been prepared to march on Parliament

    Sent from my iPhone. Major Alun Powell

  6. Alan Hardy

    if i was able to work i can earn £26,000 a year working 6 days a week and 10hr a day and this shower of dodo’s< (s**t) want a pay increase of 32% to a round £86,250 plus all there extra benefits. This is a joke. they need to be on an average wage just like most of us all of our MP's are lazy let them try my job and i bet they can't do it so no an increase in pay NO a decrease in salary. To the national average wage like the rest of us

  7. Smiling Carcass

    I have a longer memory, and remember when similar pay demands were deemed unethical, unaffordable and outrageous- who made these demands- the manual worker who creates the wealth these people feed from.

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